Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
Modern food and beverages have an extreme amount of sugar, which is harmful to people's health.
Therefore
, taxes should be imposed on these Linking Words
products
in order to lower the consumption of sugar among individuals. I agree with the statement because the additional taxes added upon sugary goods' Use synonyms
price
will encourage consumers to buy less sweet Fix the agreement mistake
prices
products
, and it correspondingly will positively contribute to their health and well-being.
Use synonyms
Firstly
, nowadays producers put a tremendous amount of fructose and glucose into their Linking Words
products
. Meals and drinks contain these elements, which gradually ruin Use synonyms
population's
teeth and cause problems related to skin, Correct article usage
the population's
for instance
, more acne occurs on the face. Linking Words
Moreover
, it slowly evolves into an addiction, making a person a sugar addict in the long term. Linking Words
Although
Linking Words
,
various beverages Remove the comma
apply
such
as Linking Words
coke
and Pepsi are known as relatively unhealthy drinks, society still Capitalize word
Coke
consume
them because they are just used to.
Additional costs added to the initial price of these commodities will definitely influence the community's decision-making. Individuals always respond to incentives, and the adjustment of the cost will lead to Change the verb form
consumes
the
decrease in the demand for saccharine food. The government incorporates a similar policy towards cigarettes and alcohol, Correct article usage
a
thus
their consumption drops year by year. Linking Words
This
tax will be tremendously helpful for human health, because people will have to substitute glucose and fructose that they obtained from unhealthy Linking Words
products
by eating healthier food, Use synonyms
for instance
, fruits and vegetables.
In conclusion, the imposition of additional cost on the initial price will definitely decrease the Linking Words
overall
consumption of saccharine commodities because human beings always respond to the provided incentives, and Linking Words
consequently
, it will increase public well-being.Linking Words
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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on the point about how modern foods have high sugar content. Providing specific examples or data could strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Consider refining the transitions between paragraphs for a smoother flow. This will enhance the overall coherence of your essay.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your position on the topic, aligning with a well-formed thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, ensuring that the reader has a comprehensive understanding of your argument.
coherence cohesion
You've made solid connections between the imposition of a tax and its potential effects on consumption, drawing a parallel with taxes on cigarettes and alcohol.