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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some believe that the government should support companies like musicians, painters, and poets, while more argue that this is a misuse of funds.

#believe #government #support #companies #musicians #painters #poets #misuse #funds
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Some believe that the government should support companies like musicians, painters, and poets,
while
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 more argue that
this
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 is a misuse of funds. Many think that roles are provided with finance by the authorities, but for other people, it is just a waste of money. In
this
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 essay will get some ideas for supporting both arguments. There are some advantages to supporting musicians, painters, and
further
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 by the state. First of all, the works of characters help people who work under pressure and always get stressed, to get rid of stress. They can forget their problems by listening to music or viewing pictures.
Secondly
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, the arts are the best thing that learn and introduce other countries' cultures and history. Because every artist uses their environmental conditions when they produce new works.
On the other hand
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, there are a lot of spheres that are more important than arts. The government spends more money on improving educational systems and building some social infrastructure like hospitals, kindergartens, etc. These fields are key parts of the government system, and almost no one gets financial aid for
this
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 except for the state.
Also
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, improving educational systems and supporting social structures is the main purpose for all developing countries that want to be gigantic. The reason why only the state that can get a good social life for the population becomes developed. In conclusion, there are some advantages and disadvantages to spending money on actors. All governments should choose the way to take into account their own financial conditions.
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task achievement
Try to make your arguments more balanced by providing strong examples for each side.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure by creating clear connections between ideas and supporting details.
task achievement
Ensure that the thesis statement clearly outlines what the essay will discuss.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Consider using more cohesive devices, such as linking words, to improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, which demonstrates an understanding of the debate.
coherence cohesion
An appropriate introduction and conclusion are present, contributing to the overall completeness of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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