Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hand gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way? Do you think it is a good trend?
In
this
contemporary world
, more and more people
are doing extreme actions, such
as scuba diving. This
is achieved by desiring to get new emotions
and prove themselves. In my opinion, this
is a good trend as such
activities
are also
a form of sport
and are beneficial for people
. In this
essay, I will try to draw some conclusions.
There are several reasons why people
prefer taking risks. Firstly
, get new emotions
. When people
try new activities
, they satisfy their curiosity and experience new emotions
. Moreover
, they want to take their adrenaline up high and see the world
from a different perspective. Secondly
, they just want to prove themselves. That is
, show others that they can do extreme activities
(freediving, for instance
) unlike society. And, of course, people
like it, it is their hobby and it brings them pleasure. Take a rock climber as an example. He does extraordinary activities
impress
others and at the same time, rock climbing is his life and he is just eager to do it.
In my point of view, it is a positive development as all unusual exercises are a form of Fix the infinitive
to impress
sport
. There are a lot of competitions in absolutely any kind of sport
in the world
, and sport
means awards, achievement and public recognition. Extraordinary activities
are useful both for athletes (to gain emotions
) and for the state (prestige). And, of course, the hobby of athletes gradually develops into an occupation,
and brings fame and money. Remove the comma
apply
Overall
, extreme exercises are beneficial for our world
.
In conclusion, society prefers taking risks in order to gain new feelings and prove themselves. This
is a good trend because sports make athletes' lives better.Submitted by halilova039 on
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task achievement
Develop your main points with more specific examples and detailed explanations. Instead of vaguely mentioning activities like scuba diving and freediving, give concrete examples or anecdotes that illustrate your points. This will enhance your task response and make your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring that each paragraph logically flows to the next. While your essay is generally well-structured, there are some abrupt transitions. For instance, using transition phrases such as "In addition" or "Furthermore" can help the reader follow your arguments more smoothly.
task achievement
Provide a more comprehensive response by covering possible counterarguments and addressing them. This will show the complexity of the issue and demonstrate your ability to see different perspectives.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, neatly framing your arguments and findings. This enhances the overall structure and ensures that your ideas are presented in a logical manner.
task achievement
The topic is directly addressed, and your opinion is clearly stated. This shows that you understood the task and remained focused on answering the question.
task achievement
The reasons you provided for why people undertake extreme activities are relevant and contribute to the essay's main argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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