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Writing Samples
Band 6

In some areas of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

#areas #‘curfew’ #teenagers #doors #time #night #adult
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In certain parts of the United States,
curfews
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 restrict
teenagers
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 from being outdoors at night unless accompanied by an adult.
This
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 policy has sparked debates, as it aims to protect young people
while
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 potentially diminishing their freedom. I tend to agree with
such
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 protective policies, as long as their implementation is balanced and not overly controlling. One of the primary advantages of
curfews
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 is that they can enhance the safety of
teenagers
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. Nighttime is often associated with higher risks, including accidents, crime, and exposure to negative influences
such
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 as drug abuse. By imposing restrictions, authorities can reduce the likelihood of
teenagers
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 becoming victims or getting involved in
such
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 activities.
For example
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, a study conducted by the University of Texas showed a significant decrease in
teenagers
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’ crime rates after a curfew was imposed. Turning to the other side of the argument, strict
curfews
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 can have drawbacks. They may be perceived as overly controlling and limit
teenagers
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’ opportunities for socializing or participating in positive nighttime activities,
such
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 as cultural events or even part-time jobs. In some cases,
such
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 policies may cause feelings of
unfaire
Correct your spelling
unfair
 treatment or resentment among young people, which can negatively impact their mental health, especially during
such
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 sensitive stages in their development. In conclusion,
curfews
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 can play a valuable role in safeguarding
teenagers
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 and fostering
dicipline
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discipline
.
However
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, they should be implemented flexibly, avoiding rigid enforcement. A balanced approach ensures that safety is prioritized without diminishing the personal growth and freedom of
teenagers
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.
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on

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task achievement
In your essay, you've clearly presented an opinion and supported it with examples, particularly when you referenced a study conducted by the University of Texas. Ensure to delve into more specific examples or data to further strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are well-organized, and your essay flows logically from introduction to conclusion. Consider enhancing the transitions between paragraphs to further improve readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction presents a clear viewpoint on the protective policies while addressing potential concerns about freedom.
task achievement
The essay includes a relevant example from the University of Texas study, which supports the argument for curfews enhancing safety.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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