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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now.

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now.
#floor #plan #library #years
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The given diagrams illustrate the floor plan of a public
library
Use synonyms
 20 years ago and how it looks at present.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are many changes from the past to the present.
In addition
Linking Words
, the zone of the central
library
Use synonyms
 had been divided into 4 rooms. Looking at the diagrams in more detail, the tables and the chairs which
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 located in the center had been eliminated. The northwest site had been developed from CDs, videos and computer games to children’s fiction books, with new sofas and storytelling events.
Moreover
Linking Words
, computer games had been relocated to the southwest.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the reading room(
newpapers
Correct your spelling
newspapers
 & magazines) is advanced to
lecture
Add an article
the lecture
show examples
 room to the northeast. The most noticeable change is that the enquiry desk
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 been replaced
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
self-service machines,
although
Linking Words
 the information desk
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 been built.
This
Linking Words
 means that technological advancements
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 contributed to our society, even the
library
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the adult fiction books still remain,
although
Linking Words
 their position had been relocated. To summarize, there are many differences in the central
library
Use synonyms
 over a period of 20 years.
Although
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technological development leads to replace from the employees
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 machines,
readking
Correct your spelling
reading
 books still
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
 a crucial role in our community.
Submitted by fdsajkloo on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words library with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagrams" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • floor plan
  • layout
  • shelving
  • reading area
  • reference section
  • encyclopedias
  • dictionaries
  • circulation desk
  • transactions
  • digital media
  • computer stations
  • multimedia rooms
  • café area
  • social environment
  • leisure-friendly
  • expanded reading areas
  • user experience
  • comfortable seating
  • children's section
  • engage younger readers
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