Some people think paying taxes is a big enough contribution to their society, while others think people have more responsibilities as members of society than only paying taxes. Discuss both these views and give your opinion:

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While
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paying
taxes
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is a sufficient contribution in some
people
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’s opinion, others believe individuals have more liability to their society than merely paying
taxes
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.
This
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essay will delve into both sides and explain why I agree paying
taxes
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is insufficient as our only social responsibility.
Firstly
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,
although
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a majority of social issues need
money
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to be solved, some
problems
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do not rely on liquidity, so
governments
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are not able to figure them out by leveraging
money
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. Feeling lonely,
for instance
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, which is a widespread social phenomenon in developed countries can be eliminated if
people
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try to enhance their friendly interaction with others.
Accordingly
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, sometimes a simple smile is able to reduce social tensions.
Secondly
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, the government’s revenue from various
taxes
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is dependent upon how much citizens earn. It means that the amount of
money
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allocated to development and social problem-solving is limited to a certain proportion of countries GDP,
while
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, the
problems
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of societies may be more costly than countries’ resources, especially in developing countries. In
this
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situation, if individuals more contribute to governmental development plans,
such
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as constructing a new hospital or school, the social
problems
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may go away faster.
In contrast
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, some
people
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distinguish between the duties of citizens and
governments
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and believe that in the modern governance way, they have a mutual financial relationship so, any voluntary activities can pervert
this
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relationship. In other mean,
governments
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collect
taxes
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to solve social issues initiatively, and citizens should focus on economic activities.
Therefore
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, if some
problems
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rely on more
money
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,
governments
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should ask for more
taxes
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from
people
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earning more. If constructing new hospitals needs more resources, as previously mentioned example, extra liquidity should be provided by extra
taxes
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that rich
people
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pay.
However
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, restricting the government-citizen relationship to a financial social covenant is a reductive analysis. In conclusion,
while
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some
people
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think all social
problems
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can be figured out by
taxes
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, I believe that not only cannot all
problems
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be solved by
money
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, but
also
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the speed of society’s improvement relies on
people
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’s voluntary contributions.

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Task Achievement
While your introduction provides a clear overview of your argument, consider refining the wording to enhance clarity. For example, instead of stating 'some people’s opinion,' you might say 'some individuals believe' to improve formality.
Coherence and Cohesion
In your paragraphs, there are some transitions that could be smoother to enhance cohesion. Consider using linking words like 'however,' 'moreover,' or 'in addition' to connect ideas more fluidly between sentences.
Task Achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mentioning particular community initiatives or specific instances where societal contributions beyond taxes made a difference would strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively presents both sides of the argument, which fulfills the task requirements well.
Task Achievement
The points you made regarding social responsibilities beyond taxes are compelling and provide a good basis for discussion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Contribution to society
  • Public services
  • Community involvement
  • Democratic participation
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Local economy
  • Cultural understanding
  • Voting rights
  • Volunteer work
  • Responsible citizenship
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