It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Many
people
Use synonyms
believe that it is
crusial
Correct your spelling
crucial
for individuals,
weither
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whether
they are
elder
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older
show examples
or young, to
saving
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save
show examples
money for their upcoming
occation
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occasion
. In my opinion, I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
statement because it
enhance
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enhances
show examples
flexible
choice
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choices
show examples
in
people
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's life, as a
back up
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backup
show examples
plan
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or a great
oppotunity
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opportunity
to explore the world. Many individuals believe that they only live once, so they tend to spend the expenditures for their
happinesses
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happiness
states of happiness
feelings of happiness
show examples
,
such
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as
,
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apply
show examples
a trendy fashion,
a
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or a
show examples
new version phone.
This
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can create
the
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apply
show examples
tangible satisfaction. They are surrounded by their favour
environtment
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environment
and it enhances their motivation for living.
However
Linking Words
, saving a fortune for
future
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the future
show examples
is
the
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an
show examples
important
things
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thing
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that they
sould
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should
could
also
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concern
Wrong verb form
be concerned
show examples
.
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about.
show examples
Money is the greatest
back up
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backup
show examples
plan
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for everybody. Appropriate balances help you to feel
releif
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relief
through
you
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your
show examples
financial hardship. It reduces a stressful atmosphere, not only
back
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backing
show examples
up
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plan
Correct article usage
a plan
show examples
, but it can
also
Linking Words
be
oppotunities
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opportunities
. Especially, for young
people
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, who
aren't
Verb problem
don't
show examples
feel ready for their university path and expect to take a gap year
for traveling
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to travel
show examples
to some places to explore the world
on
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from
show examples
different angles. It cannot
happens
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happen
show examples
without an adequate
plan
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. Young
people
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have to
plan
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it
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apply
show examples
thoroughly in every
aspects
Change to a singular noun
aspect
show examples
and the most significant factor is their proportion
of
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apply
show examples
saving balance. In conclusion, saving money is the most important aspect for all individuals, especially, for young
people
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who want to take a break from the real world. It can be the ticket to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
remarkable journey, which is worth for experience, but they need to evaluate their
plan
Use synonyms
finely.
Submitted by rutkittiphot on

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grammatical
Try to minimize grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, such as 'crusial' instead of 'crucial' and 'oppotunities' instead of 'opportunities'.
example
Provide more concrete examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your essay and provide a clearer picture of your ideas.
comprehensiveness
Balance is key. Consider discussing both the merits of saving and the potential drawbacks to provide a more comprehensive view of the topic.
clarity
The essay presents a clear stance on the subject, effectively communicating agreement with the importance of saving money for the future.
structure
The structure includes clear introduction and conclusion sections that present and summarize the main argument.
content
There is a thoughtful exposition on how saving can lead to valuable life opportunities, especially for young people.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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