Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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Many animal
species
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are either extinct or endangered. The main causes of the problem are using
animals
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for scientific purposes and hunting. We can approach
this
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problem with a variety of solutions like using advanced technology for scientific discoveries
,
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apply
show examples
and enforcing strict regulations that prevent hunting. Many
species
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have become extinct or facing a similar approach because of scientific studies. An unpredictable number of labs and science companies act blindly, putting their profits
first,
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without actually knowing their effects on the animal kingdom.
Additionally
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, hunting is still one of the major reasons, up until today people are killing and locking
animals
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and using them either for entertainment reasons or personal benefits.
For instance
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, whale sharks are now listed as an endangered
species
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and the main reason is hunting, they are either locked in zoos or killed by fishermen
due to
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multiple uses, one out of many is using their fins in a traditional Japanese soup. To overcome
this
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dilemma, using
animals
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for discoveries should be banned because it is unethical and unnecessary. A global organization
that is
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responsible for
this
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topic should be constantly supervising labs and companies and lock any that do not follow the given regulations.
Moreover
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, hunting must be banned with severe court judgements and fees. Many countries are approaching
this
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solution
such
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as Canada. I read that some countries are even considering lifetime penalties for offenders To sum
this
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up,
he
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the
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number of extinct and endangered
animals
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is increasing. There are many reasons;
however
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, the main cause is humans. Humans are naturally selfish and without any regulations or solutions, we may lose a significant amount of different
species
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.
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task achievement
While your essay identifies important reasons for animal endangerment and extinction, the task achievement could be improved by providing a more detailed explanation of each point. Elaborate on each reason more thoroughly.
task achievement
In the task of explaining solutions, consider expanding on each solution. For instance, discuss how advanced technology could specifically aid in reducing animal testing.
coherence cohesion
There might be minor grammatical inaccuracies that could be polished for clarity. Proofreading can help identify these issues.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear structure with a distinct introduction, main body, and conclusion.
task achievement
The use of examples, such as the whale shark, effectively supports the arguments and adds specificity to the points made.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the causes and potential solutions to animal endangerment and extinction, which aligns well with the task requirements.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • species extinction
  • endangered animals
  • biodiversity
  • habitat loss
  • deforestation
  • urbanization
  • poaching
  • illegal wildlife trade
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • conservation efforts
  • legislation
  • enforcement
  • human overpopulation
  • sustainable development
  • responsible consumption
  • education
  • awareness programs
  • protected areas
  • wildlife reserves
  • international cooperation
  • collaboration
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