IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some university students want to learn about other subject in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studing for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give youn own opinion.

In today's world, university
students
Use synonyms
 are often faced with the decision of whether to focus solely on their major or to explore other subjects as well. Both perspectives have their merits, and
this
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 essay will discuss the advantages of each before concluding with my own opinion. On the one hand, some argue that it is more important to dedicate all their time and attention to mastering their main subject. They believe that in-depth knowledge and specialized skills are essential for securing a professional qualification and succeeding in their chosen career.
For instance
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, a medical student may feel that learning additional areas would distract them from the core competencies required to become a skilled doctor.
Moreover
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, focusing on one field allows them to excel academically and gain expertise in their area of study, which is often highly valued by employers.
On the other hand
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, there are others who argue that studying a variety of educational programs alongside their major can be equally beneficial.
Firstly
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, exploring other areas can broaden one’s perspective, develop critical thinking, and foster creativity.
For example
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, a business student who takes courses in philosophy or psychology could gain a deeper understanding of human behaviour, which would enhance their communication and problem-solving skills.
Furthermore
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, in an increasingly interconnected and multidisciplinary world, the ability to draw knowledge from various fields can make
students
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 more adaptable and better equipped to handle complex real-world challenges. In my opinion,
while
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 focusing on one’s major is undeniably important for developing expertise, pursuing additional studies can provide significant benefits. A well-rounded education not only enhances personal growth but
also
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 equips
students
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 with transferable skills that can be valuable in any profession.
Therefore
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, I believe that
students
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 should strike a balance between their primary studies and exploring other areas of interest. In conclusion,
although
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 there are valid arguments for both approaches, I believe that a balanced approach devoting enough time to one’s major
while
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also
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 engaging with other subjects—is the most beneficial path for
students
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.
This
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 way, they can gain specialized knowledge.
Additionally
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,
also
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 fosters a broader intellectual outlook.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure all sentences connect smoothly and ideas flow logically. While your essay generally has good coherence and transition, closer attention to the seamless linking between some ideas could enhance readability.
Task Achievement
Your essay clearly addresses both views, but you could further expand on each by providing more detailed examples or counterarguments where applicable.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured and clear, effectively presenting the essay's main argument and summarizing the discussion.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a balanced view of the topic and provides relevant examples to illustrate key points, enhancing the depth of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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