In many cities, young people prefer shopping as a form of leisure activity. Why do you think this happens? Is it a positive or negative development?

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As we know, social media is a source for everything nowadays, whether you want to learn a new recipe for dinner, try working out and so much more,
one
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of the many impacts is shopping, the problem with apps like TikTok, is that everything we see on
there
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their
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theres
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there's
a huge chance we would want to buy it, even as a
teenanger
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teenager
i
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I
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can't resist not buying everything
i
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I
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see on social media, so what can
i
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say about the rest? there is a positive but negative impact on
this
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, i mean there is no
such
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thing as pro's without con's, the positive side is that
teens
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can spend their time going out and learning how to use their
money
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wisely if the
parents
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give them an allowence, knowing whats good to buy and learn about type of materials, but theres
also
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a negative side of it, as
teens
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can overspend without realizing it, and
one
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of the biggest examples of
this
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is the so called term "
Sephora
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kids",
Sephora
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is a famous makeup store known for the brands that are in it, and
Sephora
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kids are young preteens who come into the store, ruin everything in their sight
such
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as the testers, samples, and use harmful acids like niacinamide and retinol , which is a exfoliater and will ruin their skin barrier
due to
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the fact their skin is still young as we call it, and some
teens
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spend crazy amount of
money
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on
sephora
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for makeup and skincare,
one
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time i was in the mall with my friend and we had decided to go to
Sephora
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, when we were going to check out there was a young girl, maybe around 11 years old with her mother and her reciept was 900 US dollars which is equivilent to 3,370 SAR, which is a crazy amount to spend on
Sephora
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, her mother had told her to put some stuff back but the girl started throwing a tantrum, in the end her mother payed for the stuff which personally i think she shouldnt have, and thats why i think
one
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of the main reasons
teens
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and preteens act like
this
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is because their
parents
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didnt teach them how to spend their
money
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properly and didnt teach them manners,
therefore
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we should establish that no
one
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under the age of 15 should enter stores like
this
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without an adult, like how the City Centre did in Manama, Bahrain. Now, as adults handling these young people, we should put age registrations for malls, because if
this
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continues happening teenagers will turn
this
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positive development into a negative
one
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,
i
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I
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suggest
parents
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teaching
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teach
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their children about the value of
money
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and that it
doesnt
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doesn't
grow on trees,
for
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example
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example,
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my
parents
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established a rule in the house, my father pays me and my brother 500
riyal
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riyals
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every month, my
parents
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pay for my
neccesites
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necessities
like clothes and school supplies, but things like makeup
i
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I
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must pay myself, we have the choice to either spend our
money
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or save it,
infact
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in fact
my
parents
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encourage us to invest our
money
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, and
thats
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that's
my opinion on the impact of shopping on young teenagers.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion to frame your arguments more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Focus on structuring your essay logically with well-organized paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Try to present your ideas more clearly and comprehensively to improve readability.
Task Achievement
While you included specific examples, make sure they directly support the main points.
Task Achievement
You provided a relevant and specific example about shopping influencing teenagers.
Task Achievement
The essay reflects on both positive and negative aspects of shopping as a leisure activity for young people.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • disposable income
  • leisure activity
  • retail therapy
  • local economies
  • fashion trends
  • peer pressure
  • social status
  • environmental impact
  • consumption
  • waste
  • materialistic
  • cultural activities
  • prominent
  • neglect
  • therapeutic
  • social media influence
  • boost
  • desire
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