In some societies the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. Some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crimes should receive adult punishment. To what extent do you agree?

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In recent times,
crime
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committed by teenagers has increased drastically, sparking considerable debate, with many people arguing that teenagers should be punished like adult criminals irrespective of their ages.
While
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I acknowledge the adverse effects of
crime
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in our societies, punishing teens will
further
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worsen the situation. In
this
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essay, I will explore the rationale behind
this
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perspective and articulate my agreement against the notion of strict punishment. First and foremost, teenagers indulge in
crime
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because of their families' socioeconomic conditions. If their families do not spend time with them to discuss what they want, and what they are thinking about, and leave them unattended most of the time, they isolate themselves from their family members and society gradually.
This
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isolation results in depression and anxiety, which later facilitates their committing crimes.
For instance
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, in a family where
children
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are deprived of their basic needs or if their parents cannot fulfil their needs because of financial conditions, they develop a behaviour of stealing things gradually.
Therefore
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, having a good family environment is a must.
Furthermore
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, they lack a basic understanding of what is correct and what is not because of their age. As most
children
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develop a sense of wisdom after a certain age, they mostly get influenced by other
children
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and commit acts that are against the law.
Instead
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, it should be the responsibility of schools and parents to teach them how to detach themselves from being influenced and advise them on how their actions will affect their lives once they engage in crimes. In conclusion, by providing
children
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with an ideal environment, understanding their concerns, and fulfilling their needs, we can keep them away from
crime
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.
Also
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, teaching them the right morals is important to help them develop a sense of right and wrong.

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Task Response
Ensure you clearly address the prompt questions and express your position consistently throughout the essay.
Task Response
Include more specific examples or statistical data if possible, as this will strengthen your point of view significantly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Transition words like 'moreover' or 'in addition' can support cohesion, indicating whether you are adding to the previous point or moving to a new one.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and strong conclusion, both well-related to the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Main points are logically connected and consistently relate back to the question, ensuring the essay remains cohesive.
Task Response
You provided a well-rounded argument addressing the issue of teenage crime, considering both societal and individual factors.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • juvenile delinquency
  • criminal behavior
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • adolescent development
  • retribution
  • impulse control
  • the justice system
  • societal influences
  • environmental factors
  • juvenile justice
  • punitive measures
  • adult incarceration
  • youth crime
  • reformative programs
  • deterrence
  • mitigating circumstances
  • restorative justice
  • correctional facilities
  • peer pressure
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