Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

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The world is changing and that includes education and working. There are
students
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who study and
work
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at the same
time
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and that can cause lower grades at school. It is
also
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the source of great anxiety and they could feel under pressure.
This
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essay will examine the causes of
this
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and how it can be solved. On the one hand,
students
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struggle with their studies because sometimes they need to
work
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. There are many reasons that make the
students
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work
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.
First,
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students
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need to pay the loan that they took from the bank. The loan is a huge amount of money, so they need to
work
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.
Second,
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some of them want to have
work
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experience, because their job requires it.
Finally
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, some
students
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want to open a business after they graduate. The business needs capital, so they will
work
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to have it.
On the other hand
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, every problem has a solution. There are several ways to fix
this
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problem.
First,
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students
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can manage their
time
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.
For example
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, they put up
time
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for studying, working, and sleeping.
In other words
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, write a plan.
Second,
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search for ways that they can earn money in an easy way. They can start investing money in banks and famous companies.
For example
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, Apple, Coca-Cola, Nike, and Amazon.
Finally
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,
students
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should go to a therapist to help them better. The therapist can give them peels to calm them,
exercises
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and exercises
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to feel positive. In conclusion, it seems very clear that causes can have an effect
in
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on
show examples
their studies if they do not have a good plan of action. There are many solutions that can put them under less pressure and have
time
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to study.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and is clearly linked to the next.
task achievement
Some of the causes and solutions could be expanded upon for deeper insight.
task achievement
Try to avoid generalizations and use more specific examples to substantiate your points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines the main topic and the intention to present causes and solutions.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides closure.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial necessity
  • Tuition
  • Living costs
  • Employability
  • Work experience
  • Under pressure
  • Mismanagement
  • Time-management
  • Academic pursuits
  • Flexible part-time study
  • Financial aid
  • Scholarships
  • Bursaries
  • Collaboration
  • Integrated programs
  • Education
  • Work-life balance
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