In some cultures, children are oftern told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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Nowadays, there is the view that the young generation almost says that they could see clear results if they attempt hard enough in some cultures.

While

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there are certain drawbacks to

this

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, they are outweighed by the benefits so I agree with the latter view. One problem associated with the young generation is that some parents do not believe in their son or daughter which could become the main factor lose place in society.

In contrast

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, those children who have a support team provide their strong points to achieve goals.

Furthermore

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This

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is a result, of leaving

aim

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life

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and uncertainty in their power.

However

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, some teenagers make plans to achieve but they do not do anything to achieve close dreams is another disadvantage of saying that they could do better. Conclusively , compared with those who try every day to reach to goals are more ambitious than those who made plans but did not do anything. Despite these downsides, upsides of telling if they could hard enough, they achieved

aim

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so before that they failed to way with another competitor.

Therefore

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,It means that next time , they will be better than the previous day in their

life

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Moreover

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, Teenagers

aim

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in that way which lose and want to take it. Substantially ,Another advantage they could better is confidence in themselves. Ultimately ,

This

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a because teenagers find the solution to their

aim

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and comparing own power and how they would do it with others who have more energy than their own.

Finally

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,It could bring great results in their

life

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. In conclusion,

Although

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,saying they could be better than previous results has several disadvantages ,

Correct word choice

apply

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I support that attempting again can bring some success in the

life

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mesney.2008Wed Jan 29 2025

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical flow of your essay. Consider organizing your arguments in a clearer manner, with a logical progression of ideas from one paragraph to another. You might use connecting words and phrases to clearly indicate how one idea leads to the next.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that this idea is supported with specific examples or evidence. This reinforcement will help clarify your points and make your essay more persuasive.

task achievement

Flesh out your arguments with more detailed examples and explanations. Incorporating specific situations or anecdotes where children benefited or were hindered by the message can strengthen your essay.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the discussion effectively, setting a clear expectation for the reader.

task achievement

You address both potential advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything, providing a balanced view on the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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In some cultures, children are oftern told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You stayed at your friend’s house when you participated in a business seminar in the other city. You mistakenly left a file with important documents at their house. Write a letter to your friend, describing the file, tell them why it is important. ask him/her to return it to you by post.

Tourism contributes significant amount of income to many countries. Discuss the advantages and the disadvantages of this

'People who do not use social media networks* will always fall behind in career development opportunities.' To what extent do you feel that this is an accurate and important prediction? * Social media networks = messaging and information exchange systems such as Facebook and Twitter.

Because of modern technology, some people believe that it is no longer necessary for people to learn handwriting skills, but others believe that handwriting is still an important skill. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

You stayed at your friend’s house when you participated in a business seminar in the other city. You mistakenly left a file with important documents at their house. Write a letter to your friend, describing the file, tell them why it is important. ask him/her to return it to you by post.