Some people say that arts subjects such as painting or drawing should not be made compulsory for high school students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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this

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day and age, the well-rounded development of children has been made the top priority, which concerns the necessity of artistic subjects

such

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as painting and drawing.

While

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some people would argue that these courses should not be made mandatory in secondary schools, others would oppose

this

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argument. From my point of view, I completely agree with

this

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statement, and the following essay is going to solidify my opinion. First and foremost, most high school pupils are not natural artists.

This

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due to

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the fact that

in contrast

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with other fields, painting, and drawing require artistic abilities

such

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as understanding the composition of a picture

as well as

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choosing and blending suitable colour palettes to captivate the essence of the objects.

Although

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these skills can be acquired through learning,

nevertheless

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, it would take years and they will need to put in a lot of dedication to be considered that they have grasped the principle.

For example

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, Vietnamese teenagers usually learn to draw simple objects

such

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as an apple or a box,

however

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, the duration of a class is rather short, so they can neither comprehend the principle needed to complete their pictures nor will they be able to finish them properly in only 45 minutes.

Furthermore

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, pupils should be permitted to choose their courses. Simply put, schools have a variety of subjects for different fields, and pupils are not always interested in all of them.

Thus

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, students should be able to pick subjects that suit their plans for the future, rather than be put in some classes against their own will.

For instance

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, a student who is passionate about pursuing finance could choose mathematics and algebra,

along with

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foreign languages, and they can learn foundational knowledge in schools so that they are prepared for

further

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education. In conclusion, I believe art courses should be made optional for secondary school since most teenagers do not have the natural gift of putting their imagination into pictures, and students should be allowed to pursue what they love, rather than a fixed curriculum.

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task achievement

Try to offer a more balanced perspective by acknowledging the counterargument more thoroughly, which can enrich the discussion.

coherence & cohesion

Integrate a variety of transition phrases to enhance the flow between ideas.

task achievement

Consider including more specific examples or case studies to bolster your arguments.

task achievement

Ensure your conclusion summarizes your main points effectively and reaffirms your stance clearly.

task achievement

You've presented a clear thesis statement in the introduction.

coherence & cohesion

Effective use of paragraphs to organize your essay.

task achievement

You have provided relevant examples to support your arguments, making your essay informative and persuasive.

15
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

341 words

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Some people say that arts subjects such as painting or drawing should not be made compulsory for high school students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today much of the food people eat gets transported from farms that are thousands of miles away. Some people believe it would be better for the environment and the economy if people only consumed food produced by local farmers. Would the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?