Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Many believe that
technology
has made individuals more sociable by providing platforms for communication
and interaction. In my opinion, I agree to a certain extent that technology
has enhanced socialization; however
, it has also
led to some negative consequences in human connections.
It is my view that technology
has indeed facilitated greater social interaction. For instance
, social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter have created spaces where people
from all corners of the globe can communicate and share experiences. Video conferencing tools, such
as Zoom or Skype, have made it easier to stay in touch with family and friends, no matter the geographical distance. Furthermore
, online communities allow individuals with shared interests to come together, fostering a sense of belonging among like-minded people
. These developments, in my opinion, have strengthened connections and broadened opportunities for socialization.
In contrast
, some people
claim that technology
has actually made individuals less social. They firmly insist that excessive use of social media and digital devices leads to social isolation and detachment from real-world interactions. Their argument is based on the observation that people
often prioritize virtual communication
over face-to-face meetings. However
, I do not find this
argument convincing as it overlooks the fact that technology
,
when used in moderation, can complement and enhance real-life interactions rather than replace them. Remove the comma
apply
Moreover
, global communication
through technology
has the potential to bridge cultural gaps, fostering deeper understanding and collaboration across borders.
In conclusion, I completely agree that technology
has provided new platforms for social interaction and has made people
more connected globally. However
, I also
acknowledge that overreliance on digital communication
could hinder genuine human connections. Therefore
, it is essential to strike a balance between using technology
for social purposes and maintaining meaningful in-person relationships.Submitted by www.prnmmdn on
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task achievement
To make your argument even stronger, you could include more specific examples or data to back up your points. This could elevate your essay to an even higher level and make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas are very clear, ensuring all ideas are equally developed would provide an even greater level of coherence. For instance, presenting a counterargument with slightly more depth would balance the essay more effectively.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly outlines your perspective and provides a solid foundation for the essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and underscores the importance of balancing digital and in-person interactions.
logical structure
The logical structure of your essay is very strong, and your arguments flow smoothly from one point to the next.
supported main points
Your essay remains focused on the topic throughout and all main points are supported with relevant arguments.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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