some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that measure are required. discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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In nowadays
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Nowadays
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, public
health
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is
significant
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a significant
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measure to
be
Wrong verb form
being
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aware of the
qulity
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quality
life
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of life
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for
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in
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a
conury
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country
.
While
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it is important, the problem
raised
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is raised
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up
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apply
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when we are trying to measure
the
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apply
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pupilc
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pupil
health
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and how to increase it. some people claim that
the
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apply
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sport
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sports
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facilities can enhance
the
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apply
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public
health
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, but some people
would
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apply
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disagree. On one hand, the argument that
back
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backs
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up the opening of sports utilities could enhance
overall
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public
health
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is population awareness.
In other words
Linking Words
, if the country has many sports places that eventually make the individuals look up and be interested in doing
workout
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workouts
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, diet and any other activity that could increase the individual
health
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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it is going to cumulate and enhance
overall
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publichealth
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public health
.
On the other hand
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, sports facilities can not increase the puplic
health
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alone. It should have some extra
efforts
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effort
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beside.
For instance
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, the government can provide free monitoring for
the the
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apply
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individuals which can more people
be
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apply
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exited
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excited
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to
adapt
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adopt
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health
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healthy
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life style
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lifestyles
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. In conclusion, the essay highlighted the most
relvent
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relevant
arguments on each side which somehow
they
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apply
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are subjective.
this
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kind of
arguments
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argument
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should be backed up with some data and that it can change from
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one regoin
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regoin
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region
to another.

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Supported Main Points
To improve the 'supported main points' criterion, consider adding more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments about public health and sports facilities. Additional data or studies supporting your views would increase your essay's persuasiveness.
Complete Response
For a more complete response, elaborate on any unstated assumptions or implications regarding other measures that could enhance public health, beyond just sports facilities. Briefly exploring different types of measures could enrich your discussion.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
Clarify your ideas and sentences to clearly convey your perspective on the topic. Pay attention to small inaccuracies in language that can affect clarity, such as the phrase 'In nowadays'. Consider rephrasing as 'Nowadays' for improved grammar and coherence.
Introduction/Conclusion Present
The essay effectively introduces the topic of public health and frames the perspectives on sports facilities' role, showing a good introduction and conclusion format.
Complete Response
The argument acknowledges differing viewpoints on the topic, which adds depth to the discussion. This is a positive aspect of your task response.
Logical Structure
Your essay exhibits a logical structure by first presenting one view and then the opposing perspective, which generally enhances coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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