Many people join distance-learning programs (studys material, post, TV, İnternet) and study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefit as attending collages or universities does. Do you agree or disagree.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
modern era, learning has become rigid and complicated because there are numerous ways to obtain knowledge. Many believe that off-campus training is the best method of learning but other argues that nothing beats in-person education. It is agreed that attending school serves more benefit to
students
Use synonyms
than studying through
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
. Being said,
students
Use synonyms
able
Add a missing verb
are able
show examples
to enjoy social life,
as well as
Linking Words
motivated to learn at school.
To begin
Linking Words
with, having a social life is a crucial part of a student's life. It improves the mental development and well-being of an individual.
For instance
Linking Words
, colleges
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
the environment of linking people together by organising group projects. Where
students
Use synonyms
come together to work toward the same goal.
Thus
Linking Words
, helping them to work together and make friends for the rest of their lives.
However
Linking Words
, it is not possible to achieve staying at home. Being present in the classroom helps
students
Use synonyms
to stay motivated toward their studies because there is always a teacher to help them solve problems and emotionally support them to perform better.
For example
Linking Words
, In a classroom
students
Use synonyms
are less distracted and focused because there is the presence of higher authority.
Also
Linking Words
, if
students
Use synonyms
fail to understand the concept in
classroom
Add an article
the classroom
a classroom
show examples
they can meet their teacher after the class to clear their doubts.
Although
Linking Words
, at
home
Add a comma
home,
show examples
it is hard to find someone to explain difficult subjects.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are numerous distractions at home for a student to learn.
To sum up
Linking Words
, long-distance learning could be beneficial for
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
but not serve the same benefit as in-person learning. Development of mental and motivation to study is done well by making friends at school rather than just sitting in front of a computer screen. I think
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
It is always
good
Correct word choice
better
show examples
to get
hands on
Add a hyphen
hands-on
show examples
training than online
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
of the discussed reasons.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To enhance task achievement, consider providing more detailed and specific examples to substantiate your points. This will help in creating a stronger argumentation.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, ensure that your ideas are more explicitly linked with transitional phrases. This will improve the logical flow of your essay.
introduction conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, helping to frame the essay effectively.
logical structure
The essay demonstrates a logical structure with paragraphs dedicated to distinct main ideas and supporting arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: