IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some modern artist receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while other struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Today some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
great
art
Replace the word
artists
show examples
 individuals
aquired
Correct your spelling
acquired
a huge fees
Correct the article-noun agreement
huge fees
a huge fee
show examples
 for the arts they
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
,
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
show examples
 other
people
Use synonyms
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 difficulties
to survive
Change the verb form
surviving
show examples
. For that governments must approach clear steps to tackle
this
Linking Words
 unfair condition. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and I will mention the reasons in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
In these
Change preposition
These
show examples
 days,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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organizations in the country should
having
Change the verb form
have
be having
show examples
fair
Correct article usage
a fair
show examples
distrbution
Correct your spelling
distribution
 of education
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 all
people
Use synonyms
 to decrease
poverity
Correct your spelling
poverty
. In other terms, the learning process extremely essential to improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
reduce
illitercy
Correct your spelling
illiteracy
 in the nation and increase the opportunity for getting
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
 which leads to
Correct article usage
a surge
show examples
surge
Change the verb form
surging
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 survival rate.
For example
Linking Words
, a study conducted at King Abdulaziz University in Jeddah on population among the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a high
amout
Correct your spelling
amount
 of poor
people
Use synonyms
 in the country
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
results
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 shown 45% because of
illitercy
Correct your spelling
illiteracy
. Authorities
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 sums of money for the
artist
Change noun form
artist's
show examples
creatition
Correct your spelling
creation
whereas
Linking Words
 other poor
people
Use synonyms
feeling
Wrong verb form
feel
show examples
 sad
thet
Correct your spelling
which
makes
Verb problem
creates
show examples
 many issues.
In other words
Linking Words
, when the government
distrbute
Correct your spelling
distribute
 their budget
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 unbalanced ways the makes homeless
people
Use synonyms
 anger
consequantly
Correct your spelling
consequently
 start violent and
crime
Replace the word
criminal
show examples
 activities.
For instance
Linking Words
, in 2010 a survey published in BBC Newspaper about the
relation
Replace the word
relationship
show examples
 between the incidence of
cirminal
Correct your spelling
criminal
 action and
poverity
Correct your spelling
poverty
 the result showed
their
Change the word
a
show examples
 30% association between them. In conclusion, governments should invest their budget fairly to all
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
 to enhance
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education and reduce
cirminal
Correct your spelling
criminal
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Moreover
Linking Words
, do not
limited
Change the verb form
limit
show examples
 their money
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 specific groups of
people
Use synonyms
 like
artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
show examples
. In my opinion, I support
this
Linking Words
 idea
to
Change preposition
of to
show examples
devolepment
Correct your spelling
development
od
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
nation
Correct article usage
a nation
show examples
.

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Grammar and Vocabulary
Try to improve your grammar and spelling by practicing writing skills and seeking feedback from proficient users of English.
Clarity
Work on constructing clear and well-organized sentences to make your essay easier to read.
Support for Main Ideas
Provide more specific examples and develop them in detail to make your arguments stronger.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion effectively outline and summarize your main ideas.
Task Response
You address the essay question and provide reasons for your stance, which helps in achieving a complete response.
Relevance
You make a valid point about the need for education and fair distribution of resources, which is relevant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic disparity
  • Market demand
  • Public visibility
  • Artistic merit
  • Equitable distribution
  • Government intervention
  • Free market
  • Bureaucratic complications
  • Social and economic inequalities
  • Targeted government assistance
  • Wider reforms
  • Commercial viability
  • Niche audiences
  • Financial rewards
  • Systemic issues
What to do next:
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