IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Demand for food is increasing worldwide. What is the cause of this? What measures can the international community as well as the government take to meet this demand?

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In recent years, one of the world’s most pressing challenges is the rising
demand
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 for
food
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. The factors contributing to
this
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 issue are multifaceted, with the increasing global
population
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 and
food
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 scarcity in certain regions
due to
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 decreasing
water
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 supply being among the most significant. In order to resolve
this
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 problem, both
governments
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 and international
organizations
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 must implement effective and strategic plans.
This
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 essay will examine the causes of the problem and propose several solutions to mitigate the crisis. A variety of factors contribute to the growing
demand
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 for
food
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.
Firstly
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, rapid
population
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 growth, particularly in developing countries, exacerbates the issue. Many of these countries have failed to plan adequately for the increase in
population
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, leading to severe challenges in maintaining
food
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 security.
In addition
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, climate change is a key factor in decreasing the availability of
water
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, which is vital for
food
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 production.
This
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, in turn, puts immense pressure on traditional agricultural practices. As
water
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 supplies dwindle, crop yields are adversely affected, making it harder for farmers to meet the demands of their growing populations.
Furthermore
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, many nations still rely on outdated agricultural techniques and lack the advanced technologies that could improve
water
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 usage and crop production. These combined challenges contribute to
food
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 scarcity and amplify the
demand
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 for
food
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 across the globe. To combat
food
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 insecurity on a global scale, both
governments
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 and international
organizations
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 must play an active role in addressing the issue.
Governments
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 should prioritize the allocation of funds for research into advanced agricultural technologies,
such
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 as more efficient irrigation systems and drought-resistant crops.
In addition
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, they must incentivize farmers to adopt these modern farming methods. On a larger scale, international
organizations
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 should work together to create and enforce regulations that promote the efficient use of agricultural land and resources.
Furthermore
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, they should encourage corporations to donate to underdeveloped nations and offer financial support to farmers, ensuring they have the tools needed to boost productivity. By implementing
such
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 strategies, we can work toward achieving
food
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 security for all. In conclusion, the rising
demand
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 for
food
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 is driven by a range of factors, including
population
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 growth and dwindling
water
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 supplies. To tackle
this
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 global crisis,
governments
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 and international
organizations
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 must collaborate to develop comprehensive and sustainable solutions.

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task response
To enhance task response, provide a few more specific examples or case studies that emphasize the proposed solutions or causes discussed in the essay. This supports the arguments and shows depth in understanding the topic.
coherence
Improve coherence by using transitions more explicitly between some paragraphs and sentences. This can help guide the reader through your line of thought smoothly.
task response
For task response, ensure all points introduced in the essay are explored in detail, with relevant statistics or factual data where possible, to strengthen your arguments.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, setting the stage for the argument and summarizing it well.
coherence
Main points are well supported and logically structured, covering a comprehensive view of the causes and potential solutions for increased food demand.
clarity
The ideas are communicated clearly, demonstrating a good understanding of the global issue of food demand and suggesting coherent solutions.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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