Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

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Some

people

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believe that in today’s world, we are more dependent on each other,

while

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others

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argue that

people

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have become more independent. In

this

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essay, I will discuss both views and provide my own opinion. On one hand, some believe that modern life has made us more dependent on

others

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This

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is because of the interconnectedness brought about by technology and globalization.

For example

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people

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rely on services provided by

others

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such

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as healthcare, transportation, and education. The global economy has made it necessary for

people

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to work together across countries. We

also

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depend on technology for communication, work, and entertainment. Without these services and innovations, many daily

tasks

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would be difficult or impossible.

On the other hand

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, there is the view that

people

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have become more independent. In the modern world, individuals have access to many tools and resources that allow them to do things on their own.

For example

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, online shopping, food delivery, and the ability to work remotely make it easier for

people

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to handle

tasks

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without needing to rely on

others

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Furthermore

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, the rise of self-help resources and the growing focus on personal development have encouraged

people

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to take responsibility for their own lives and decisions, which leads to a greater sense of independence. In my opinion, both views have some truth to them.

While

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it is clear that

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technology has made us more reliant on

others

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in certain ways,

such

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as for services and information, it has

also

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given us the tools to become more self-sufficient. Personally, I find that I can now manage many

tasks

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on my own,

such

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as shopping online or learning new skills through online courses.

However

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, I still rely on

others

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for more complex

tasks

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, like medical care or legal advice. In conclusion,

while

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modern life has made us more dependent in some areas, it has

also

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provided more opportunities for independence. Ultimately, it is a balance between the two, and we are likely to continue relying on

others

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while

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becoming more self-sufficient in other aspects of life.

muzun0612Thu Jan 30 2025

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Task Achievement

To improve task response, consider including more specific examples or evidence to support your points. This can enhance the depth of your argument and demonstrate a wide range of vocabulary and structures.

Coherence and Cohesion

For better coherence and cohesion, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Using linking words or phrases can help maintain a logical flow throughout the essay.

Task Achievement

The essay successfully addresses both views of the topic and provides a balanced opinion, thereby achieving a thorough task response.

Coherence and Cohesion

Paragraphs are well-structured and logically organized, making the argument easy to follow.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clearly stated, providing a good framework for the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

339 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

interdependence
globalization
technological advancements
collective action
digital evolution
minimal reliance
direct interaction
empowered
access to technology
societal expectations
personal choice
leverage

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Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The percentage of overweight children in westrn society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years.

To what extent do you agree that the men and women should do the same job as each other.

These days in many countries, fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this, and how could the problem be solved? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.