IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.

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Education
Use synonyms
 is the backbone of a society. In many
nations
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nations,
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 young generations are always motivated to work or visit for a
year
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 after completing high
school
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 and before
start
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starting
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university
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 learning. There are a number of benefits and drawbacks of
this
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 trend for teenagers who decide to do
this
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.
This
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 essay will
an
Correct article usage
apply
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elaborate
some
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on some
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 in subsequent paragraphs.
To begin
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 with
foremost
Correct article usage
the foremost
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 benefit
for
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of
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 working after high
school
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,
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
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youngers
Correct your spelling
young people
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 a chance to explore new ideas related to their
career
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. It will not only enhance their skill but
also
Linking Words
 improve self-dependance.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
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 results
to
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in
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 impetus their confidence to run their own business and broaden in
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the horizon
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horizon
Fix the agreement mistake
horizons
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 of
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
their career
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career
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careers
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, working
in
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with
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 teens will strengthen the
economical
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economic
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 value
in
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of
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student’s
Change noun form
students’
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life
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lives
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 and
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
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 them to earn and save something for their
university
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education
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.
Additionally
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, visiting
other country
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another country
other countries
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 during the gap
year
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 will help students to explore new tastes, cultural values and new environmental suitability. They will have more
chance
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chances
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 to embrace opportunities and even have some
break
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breaks
show examples
 to learn and compare the importance of different fields of study.
For instance
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, if a student
visit
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visits
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 their dream country during the
year
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 between high
school
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 and
university
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education
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,
then
Linking Words
 they have a
year
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 to think about and where he or she
want
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wants
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 to continue
university
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education
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. On the flip side, working or travelling after high
school
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 finishing will lead to some bad results in the long run.
Firstly
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, discontinuity in study around a
year
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 will not divert the
career
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 paths sometimes.
As
Correct your spelling
A
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university
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education
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 is one of the major part of
youngers
Correct your spelling
younger
show examples
 life. Many times when they travel or
starts
Correct subject-verb agreement
start
show examples
 work again after a long period they are
an
Change the article
apply
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unable to concentrate so much. Because
,
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apply
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they feel that if they are earning
then
Linking Words
 they can only enjoy their life as they want. Sometimes it creates some indiscipline actions, which leads to
destroy
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the destruction of
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 their
career
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 at younger ages. In conclusion, there are some pros and same way cons as well for youngers in many countries, who
decides
Correct subject-verb agreement
decide
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 to travel or work between the gap
year
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 of high
school
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 study and
university
Use synonyms
education
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.
Linking Words
While working
Correct word choice
Working
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in
Change preposition
with
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 teenagers teaches them to manage
economical
Replace the word
economic
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 values but same way
destroy
Correct subject-verb agreement
destroys
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 their
career
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 paths by diverting them from their goals. Same way traveling
makes
Verb problem
gives
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 them, more opportunities to settle in different cultures but
also
Linking Words
 makes them
double minded
Add a hyphen
double-minded
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 in choosing
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university
Add an article
a university
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in
Change preposition
at
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domestic
Correct article usage
a domestic
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 or
foreigner
Replace the word
foreign
show examples
 level.

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to clarify your points. This will enhance your argument and make it more relatable.
coherence and cohesion
Some paragraphs lack seamless transitions. Use connecting words and phrases to ensure your essay flows more smoothly from point to point.
task achievement
Make sure your arguments are fully developed and backed with thorough explanations.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction is clear and outlines the main points to be discussed in the essay.
task achievement
You have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages, showing a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
What to do next:
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