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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays famous people are photographed by professional photographers everywhere they go. Some people say this is a good thing because the public are interested in their lives. Other people think that photographers are wrong to follow famous people. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Today, professional photographers constantly take pictures of celebrities everywhere they go.
While
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 some regard it as a positive movement, others believe it is wrong to follow these
people
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.
This
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 essay discusses both views and demonstrates why I think following famous
people
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 to take
picture
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pictures
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 is more of a negative
privacy
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 concern On the one hand, professional photographs of famous
people
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 are interesting for the public.
This
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 is because
,
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apply
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 famous
people
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 tend to live a higher-quality life compared to ordinary
people
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.
Hence
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, it is understandable that
people
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 are eager to watch celebrities' outfits encouraging them to increase their
overall
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 knowledge of fashion and choice of better outfits.
For example
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, in Turkey,
due to
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 the high number of paparazzi and shared photographs with
society
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,
people
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 have more access to
see
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apply
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famous
people
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's outfits .
As a result
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, an estimated 70% of
society
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 tends to follow the latest trends and buy trendy clothes, leading to a more good-looking
society
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 because of individuals' well-tailored appearance.
On the other hand
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, opponents including myself, are concerned about the disturbance of emotions. Not surprisingly, public figures are always complaining about the lack of
privacy
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 in their daily lives. So, the more they are followed by the paparazzi, the more they avoid attending crowded places to prevent unauthorized shootings. To illustrate an uncomfortable feeling of actors and singers toward
society
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, not only
this
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privacy
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 violation has resulted in the social phobia of hundreds of these exposed celebrities, but it negatively affected their performances in the long term. In conclusion,
although
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 photographing famous
people
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 anywhere they go creates a better-looking
society
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 in some areas temporarily, I believe,
undeniably
Correct article usage
the undeniably
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 negative effects of
privacy
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 violation are of greater concern to take into account. Unfortunately,
this
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introding
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introducing
intruding
 to
daily
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the daily
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 lives of
well- known
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well-known
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people
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 involves their long-term mental health issues and
hinder
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hinders
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 their professional performance.
Hence
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, legal obligations should warn photographers to get authorization in advance.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the reasons for your opinion, as this will strengthen your position.
task achievement
Try to develop your ideas further with more examples or explanations to enhance the depth of your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using transitional phrases to improve the flow between paragraphs and improve coherence within your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure all sentences are grammatically accurate to enhance clarity in your writing.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both views, which is important for a balanced discussion.
task achievement
The use of examples, like the situation in Turkey, effectively supports your arguments on fashion influence.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Celebrity status
  • Public interest
  • Invasion of privacy
  • Mental health impact
  • Media scrutiny
  • Personal freedom
  • Ethical considerations
  • Public figure
  • Consent
  • Balance
  • Surveillance
  • Unwanted photography
  • Admiration
  • Inspiration
  • Intrusive
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