As the number of working mothers is increasing,some people say that it is impossible for them to be effective at work and home at the same time.To what extent do you agree.
Nowadays,the world is changing.One-way income from the husband does not seem sufficient for the whole family anymore ,resulting in females finding another career to support their husbands.
That is
to say,some women have to work
corresponding with being
Wrong verb form
be
a
Correct article usage
apply
mother
.There is an inconclusive debate as to whether doing two jobs at the same time is effective.From my perspective,I agree that the majority of people do Fix the agreement mistake
mothers
this
without any help resulting in a lower quality outcome in both
places.
To begin
with,Any mother is willing to sacrifice herself for her children
.In other words
,If she wants her offspring to be raised effectively,she will have to take care of her children
continuously for 24 hours without a break.Children
with different upbringings especially,in their early years of life seem to grow up to be different persons.Thus
,in order to do that,mothers cannot have a full capacity at work
.Additionally
,due to
technological advancement and a lot of competition at work
,they might find that it is tremendously difficult to compete with both
robots and co-workers.
On the other hand
,Critics argue that with additional help from their own family or nanny ,it is possible to accomplish both
places.In simple terms,if their family such
as their grandparents who have already retired can look up to their grandchildren in the daytime while
mothers go to work
,it will loosen many burdens.Also
,they can hire a professional caretaker for their children
if they can afford it.Finally
,Most companies today have maternity leave which allows women to look after their babies in a few months.After that critical period,a baby will no longer require an aggressive foster.
In conclusion,having excellent performance in both
work
and home is substantially arduous.However
,these days mothers usually have leverage from their family,nanny or welfare such
as maternal leave.Submitted by chawanat.pla on
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task achievement
Enhance clarity by providing more specific examples and details to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Concentrate on linking paragraphs more effectively to enhance the logical progression of ideas.
task achievement
Address counterarguments more thoroughly to demonstrate a full understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a satisfactory framework for the argument.
task achievement
You effectively acknowledge both sides of the argument, considering both supporting and opposing viewpoints, which reflects a balanced approach.
task achievement
The topic is relevant and well-introduced, capturing the current socio-economic context effectively.
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