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Writing Samples
Band 8

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy #development
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Nowadays, medical advancements and technological evolution are increasing life expectancy as the population lives longer.
However
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, some people think that
this
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 reality could be a disadvantage. In
this
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 essay, I will present an argument that supports the notion that
this
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 development is surpassing the disadvantages, by sharing some examples of how society is living a quality existence compared to old times and how some drawbacks could be solved. Medical care is expected to be one of the areas that will improve in the next years. Indeed, society can reach a variety of medical sources
such
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 as vaccines, medications, therapies and modern diagnostic methods; all of these work in combination to offer a better living that guarantees a longer lifespan.
Besides
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, a large number of people do not have access to these services, as many cultures worldwide still growing up economically. It will take a little bit longer for every part of the world to receive vast medical care.
On the other hand
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, environmental pollution and a lack of employment could be a significant drawback of
this
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 constant medical evolution. Only if the government does not take action to beat these problems, will society ever experience real live improvement. In
this
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 context, every time we will confront tons of problems, but were we to have health issues, we would not be able to solve any trouble. In conclusion, I elucidated some benefits that prove how important is the constant development of medical care.
Likewise
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, I shared two possible drawbacks resulting from the presented notion.
Furthermore
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, I highlighted the importance of maintaining a healthy lifetime, over dealing with cultural and economic issues, which the government is the one who has to work on these.
Submitted by oscarsanmo on

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task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Try to refine your paragraph structure to avoid any slight repetition and enhance logical flow.
coherence cohesion
You have included both an introduction and a conclusion that clearly outline your stance.
task achievement
Your argument effectively addresses the question by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of increased life expectancy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • elderly population
  • health care systems
  • pension funds
  • extended family relationships
  • quality of life
  • aging population
  • economic growth
  • volunteer work
  • expertise
  • financial planning
  • retirement
  • age-related diseases
  • medical research
  • healthier lifestyles
What to do next:
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