In many countries it is now illegal to advertise alcohol. do you agree or disagree?

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Advertising alcoholic beverages is illegal in many countries.

This

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essay fully supports

this

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viewpoint, as consuming

alcohol

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can lead to

health

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-related issues, and advertisements can particularly influence young people.

Alcohol

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poses significant

health

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risks. Excessive consumption can result in various problems, with liver disease being one of the most serious.

Additionally

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alcohol

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can impair an individual's perception, leading to decreased productivity in daily activities

as well as

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in the workplace.

For example

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, research published by HAMS Hospital in 2024 reveals a yearly 2% increase in patient admissions diagnosed with liver cirrhosis. If

this

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trend continues, it could have detrimental effects on national economies.

Moreover

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, a greater proportion of the population facing

health

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issues can reduce

overall

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productivity, causing government funds to be diverted to public

health

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treatments, which in turn can negatively impact the economy. Advertisements for alcoholic beverages

such

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as wine, beer, and spirits may appeal to teenagers. Young people often lack the maturity needed to distinguish between positive and negative influences. Glitzy ads for alcoholic products can mislead them into believing that drinking is beneficial.

For instance

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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brand 8848 employs celebrities to endorse

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

products, which can attract young consumers who idolize their

favorite

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favourite

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actors or actresses.

According to

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research from Tribhuvan University in Nepal, around 10% of the population consumed

alcohol

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in 2023, but

this

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number gradually decreased following the government's ban on

alcohol

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. In conclusion, alcoholic drinks are detrimental to

health

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and can lead to various diseases, with advertising playing a significant role in encouraging consumption. To address

this

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issue, governments and local authorities need to collaborate and implement stricter regulations, including the prohibition of alcoholic products.

rachanapokhrel1998Thu Jan 30 2025

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task achievement

Incorporate more data or references to solidify arguments, particularly on how advertising influences adolescents.

coherence cohesion

Make transitions between ideas smoother to enhance flow between paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clearly stated, providing a solid framework for the essay.

task achievement

Main points are well-supported with relevant examples, particularly the research study references.

task achievement

Clear and comprehensive expression of ideas that align well with the thesis statement.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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In many countries it is now illegal to advertise alcohol. do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Some people believe raising children in the city is better, while others consider the countryside a more suitable choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Eating too much sugar is harmful for our health. Some people think it is government responsibility to limit people's sugar consumption, while others think it is an individual's responsibility to limit the amount of suger they eat. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people believe that taxes should not be paid. The rest should be closed. Do you think it has more advantages of disadvantages? Give your opinion