Parents are encouraging their children to spend an increasing amount of time on tablets and screens because they think it will improve their technological skills. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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the

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modern society, a

lot

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of parents are encouraging their kids to use more electric devices to enhance their technological skills. It's important to use the Internet and the following machines these days. But in my opinion, the disadvantages

from

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using machines are a

lot

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more than the advantages for two reasons.

Firstly

Linking Words

, excessive usage of electric devices can cause addiction

such

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as game addiction.

Due to

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development of the Internet technology, we have a

lot

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contents

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content

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to enjoy these days. We can watch

a tons

Correct the article-noun agreement

tons

a ton

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Youtube

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YouTube

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videos about trending games or memes. And Instagram reels of famous influencers who

showing

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show

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off their beauty and wealth. Being exposed to all these highly addictive and stimulating contents isn't good for

children in

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children's

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development.

Secondly

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, if you spend too much time using SNSs, you might have

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trouble

Linking Words

while

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communicating with other people. You might say SNSs are made to communicate and it's a

lot

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easier to have a conversation with your friends. To be more accurate, you might have problems

while

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grasping others' emotions. Communicating with texts can't be more vivid than communicating face to face in the perspective of catching emotions. To summarise, when let your kids

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spend more time online, there is a risk of decreased social interaction. Spending excessive time on screens might limit personal interactions, impacting children's social skills and emotional intelligence development. There is

also

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the concern of exposure to inappropriate content and online dangers. Without adequate supervision and control, children may come across harmful or misleading information, cyberbullying, or inappropriate media.

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Enhance the variety of examples used to support your points. Using diverse examples can help illustrate your argument better.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence to guide the reader through your argument. This will improve coherence and cohesion.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly presents the topic and the writer’s position, making the main argument clear from the start.

coherence cohesion

The writer has effectively structured the essay with clear paragraphs, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Digital literacy
Technology-driven world
Technological proficiency
Educational apps
Interactive software
Learning styles
Eye strain
Sedentary lifestyle
Social interaction
Emotional intelligence
Inappropriate content
Cyberbullying
Screen time management
Supervision and control
Exposure

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Parents are encouraging their children to spend an increasing amount of time on tablets and screens because they think it will improve their technological skills. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

It is argued that parents of children who break the law should be punished as they are responsible for their children’s actions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Thus it’s the governments’ responsibility to ban alcohol and tobacco as they are addictive substances and harmful.How do you feel about this approach? do you agree or disagree ?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The restoration of old buildings in major cities in the world costs numerous government's expenditure. This money should be used in new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?