IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

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It is often believed that in recent years individuals have
variety
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a variety
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 of
choices
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 to make compared with the past. I adamantly agree with
this
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 statement because now individuals can complete their studies at many universities and they can find
information
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 from a
lot
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 of websites. A
lot
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 of people struggle to choose a school or a university to finish their studies because there are lots of faculties to choose from
such
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 as graphic design and computer science.
However
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, in the past, there was a small amount of people who were accepted to high-level schools because there was not a big range of
choices
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.
For example
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, research from Germany indicates that a
lot
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 of students are having a hard time about what they want to study in their later life because there are so many
choices
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 to choose from.
Also
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, many people can find
information
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 from a
lot
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 of internet sites.
Nevertheless
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, individuals should be aware that some
information
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 can be wrong.
This
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 problem did not exist in the past because there was only one resource for finding
information
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 which was encyclopedias.
For instance
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, there is a lack of
information
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 on Turkish school websites because every site says a different statement and a
lot
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 of students struggle with
this
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 situation because they need to make an extra effort to find accurate
information
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. In conclusion, I believe that there are a
lot
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 of
choices
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 to choose from
such
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 as there is an enormous range of faculties to choose
for
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from for
show examples
 studying and we can find
information
Use synonyms
 from vasts of internet sites.

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task achievement
You have addressed the topic by providing two main examples of how people have more choices today, specifically in education and information access. However, your response could benefit from a more detailed exploration of these points and possibly considering opposing views to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, the transitions between the ideas could be improved for better flow. Consider using linking words and phrases to connect your points more naturally.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion and your conclusion summarizes your points well.
task achievement
The examples provided are relevant to the topic and help illustrate the main points you are making.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
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