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Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays, many families move overseas for job opportunities and take their children along with them. Some people think that this is beneficial for the children of these families, while others think children will find it difficult. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Moving overseas for better job opportunities is a trend nowadays. Even though some people say it benefits the
children
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, most people argue
it
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that it
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 will be hard for the
children
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. In
this
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 essay, I'm going to discuss both views and argue that
children
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 of these families will benefit and have a better lifestyle compared to the families in their own countries. One reason for believing the
children
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 have a better lifestyle is because of the salaries of the
parents
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. When
parents
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 earn more money, they are going to invest the money in the
skills
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 of their
children
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. When
children
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 get good
skills
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, they can thrive anywhere in the world.
However
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, the
parents
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 may not give much time to the
children
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 because of a heavy workload. On the one hand, moving overseas can offer
children
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 valuable advantages.
First,
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they are exposed to different cultures, languages, and ways of life, which can broaden their horizons and help them become more open-minded individuals.
For example
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,
children
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 who grow up in a multicultural environment often develop strong communication
skills
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 and cultural awareness.
In addition
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, many developed countries provide higher-quality education systems and better extracurricular opportunities, which can enhance
children
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’s academic and personal development.
As a result
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, these
children
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 may enjoy better future career prospects.
On the other hand
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, it is undeniable that relocating to a foreign country can be challenging for
children
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. One major difficulty is adjusting to a new language and education system, which may lead to academic struggles and frustration, especially in the early stages.
Moreover
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,
children
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 may experience emotional stress
due to
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 leaving behind friends, extended family, and familiar surroundings.
This
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 sense of isolation can negatively affect their confidence and mental well-being, particularly for older
children
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 and teenagers who may find adaptation more difficult. In my opinion,
although
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 moving abroad can be challenging
initially
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, the long-term benefits generally outweigh the disadvantages, provided that
parents
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 offer adequate emotional support. With time, most
children
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 adapt successfully and gain
skills
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 and experiences that are invaluable in an increasingly globalised world. In conclusion,
while
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 living overseas may pose certain difficulties for
children
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, it
also
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 provides significant educational and cultural benefits.
Overall
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, I believe that
this
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 experience is more beneficial than harmful in the long run.

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content
Add more clear facts or real life examples to back each idea.
coherence
Link ideas better. Use simple word links to show how one idea leads to the next.
structure
Put one main idea in each paragraph and make sure the link to the next idea is clear.
language
Check for small grammar slips and keep to easy words so the read is easy.
content
The essay states a clear view and the answer.
structure
It has a plan with intro, body, and conclusion.
content
It shows both sides and ends with your own view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Multicultural environment, Assimilation, Cognitive flexibility, Linguistic proficiency, Social integration
  • Alienation, Homesickness, Peer support, Academic transition, Bicultural identity
  • Adaptive strategies, Familial guidance, Psychological well-being, Socio-emotional development, Cultural intelligence
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