IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

At present, the media affects people’s lives significantly. What impact thus this have on society? Is it a negative or positive development?

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Individual’s lives are affected greatly
due to
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media
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such
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 as newspapers, magazines and the Internet.
Media
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 sources assist
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society in gaining updated
news
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 and I wholeheartedly believe that it is a positive development because it is helpful in avoiding many life risks as well. The primary impact of
media
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 on society is that brings
news
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 from all the corners of
globe
Add an article
the globe
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 and helps
the
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apply
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individuals get updated with politics,
share
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and share
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 markets and fashion
news
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 with their cup of tea in the early morning. Nowadays, it is extremely hard to survive without newspapers because they assist human beings to get updated.
For example
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, newspapers provide data regarding weather forecasts which is really helpful for the common people because they can carry an umbrella if
its
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it's
it is
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 sunny or rainy to protect themselves.
Thus
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,
media
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 has made life easier for
the
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apply
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individuals. The prominent benefit of
media
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 is that
,
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 it helps people to explore the world in a much better manner. As, when youngsters observe anything new in the
media
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, they get curious to know more about that
then
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 either they search for that on the internet or visit that particular location to know that better. Another pivotal pro is that as
media
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 helps in the spread of
news
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 more rapidly across the different nations ,
therefore
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, it leads to control of many pandemics in different geographical areas by providing assistance
such
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 as ambulance and food services instantly.
For instance
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, in 2020 when Goa, India got caught with the disease from aquatic creatures
then
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 there was a shortage of health and food facilities in the state. At
this
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 point, the
news
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 was spread through
media
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 across the country to fulfil their basic necessities and save the state.
To conclude
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,
media
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 sources are affecting people’s lives extensively by spreading
news
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 easily among people and have a lot of positive effects on society as mentioned above.

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Task Achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly presents your viewpoint and briefly outlines the points you will discuss. This sets a strong foundation for your essay.
Task Achievement
To further strengthen your essay, try to incorporate a wider variety of complex sentence structures and more sophisticated vocabulary. This can enhance the clarity and depth of your ideas, demonstrating a higher level of English proficiency.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by relevant examples or explanations. This helps maintain a logical flow and reinforces the coherence of your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
It is beneficial to link your paragraphs using appropriate transitional phrases. This not only improves the readability of your essay but also highlights the relationship between your ideas, enhancing the overall cohesion.
Coherence and Cohesion
In conclusion, be sure to restate your viewpoint and summarise the key points made in the essay. This reaffirms your argument and provides a clear closure, reinforcing the effectiveness of your essay.
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