IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

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Many individuals assert that
music
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 serves as an effective medium for uniting people from diverse cultural backgrounds and various
age
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groups
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.
This
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 essay will agree with the version of
this
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 statement and eventually, it will be finished by involving my own perspective.
To begin
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 with,
music
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, often described as a universal language, possesses a unique ability to transcend cultural boundaries and bridge generational divides. Its melodic strains can evoke emotions that resonate deeply within us, irrespective of our backgrounds or
age
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groups
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.
For instance
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,
a
Correct article usage
apply
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research conducted by Melodic.com organisation has shown that traditional folk songs can connect the
elder
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elderly
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 to their cultural roots
while
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 engaging the younger audiences through modern reinterpretations, promoting a dialogue between generations.
Moreover
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, There are numerous artists whose work appeals to a diverse audience spanning multiple
age
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groups
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, as their
music
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, films, or artistic creations resonate with both younger and older generations alike, allowing them to maintain widespread popularity over time. That's to say, the songs of these artists are passed down from generation to generation, which can help different
age
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groups
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 find common ground. So many classic songs remain popular across generations, creating a common ground for younger and older individuals.
For example
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, Serdar Ortac is one of the most popular singers in Turkiye and Azerbaijan and he has a multi-
age
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 audience. He had many bad stages in his life,
as well as
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 many good ones. His story can be a conversation for many. In conclusion,
music
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 is undeniably a powerful force in bringing people together, regardless of cultural or generational differences. In my opinion, it serves as a bridge between diverse communities, fostering global understanding and intergenerational connections.

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introduction conclusion present
Strive to start with a captivating introduction that clearly introduces the topic and provides an outline of the main points that will be discussed in the essay.
logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that states the main point, followed by sentences that exemplify and support the point.
supported main points
While providing examples is good, ensure they are directly supporting the point you are making. Relate directly to how these examples demonstrate music's role in uniting diverse groups.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively reinforces the main argument presented in the essay, encapsulating why music serves as a unifier across cultures and ages.
logical structure
The essay has a logical flow of ideas, starting from the power of music as a universal language to its impact across generations and cultures.
relevant specific examples
Excellent examples are presented to support your points, particularly the case of culturally significant artists and research findings, thereby strengthening your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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