Health care should not be provided for free. The health of the person is in his own hands, and they should pay for it themselves. What is your opinion?

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Health care, nowadays, is the most concerning issue in the world. The health of the
people
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is their responsibility only, so they ought to cure it for their own money.
This
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essay disagrees with the statement.
This
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essay will first discuss that there are some natural incidents that can not be controlled by humans, and
then
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will show that
the
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apply
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severe diseases require a lot of costs for
the
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apply
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treatment
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.
To begin
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with, our world is not stable,
furthermore
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the
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apply
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natural disruptions can happen periodically.
Consequently
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,
people
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can not impact on them, but even
more
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more,
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they can
be suffer
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suffer
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from these incidents.
For example
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, recently Kazakhstan
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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witnessed flooding
on
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in
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its western area.
Due to
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the flood
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flood
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flooding
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the harmful
disease
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was spread and
people
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sacrificed from it,
although
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it wasn't
population's
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the population's
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fault.
Thus
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, some unpredictable
situation
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situations
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can influence
on
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apply
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humans' fitness.
Additionally
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,
people
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suffer from hard or even immortal
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disease
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diseases
show examples
, but they can afford the
treatment
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, even high-income
people
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. Because the
treatment
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of those
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disease
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diseases
show examples
has an extremely high cost.
However
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, if humans don't treat them it will lead to death.
For instance
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, many
people
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are invaded by cancer, but it can be cured using radiation or particular medicines only, which require a lot of cash waste.
Consequently
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, if government introduce
insurance
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an insurance
show examples
scheme for
such
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Use synonyms
disease
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diseases
show examples
the mortality rate will decrease. In conclusion, the government should treat
people
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for free
due to
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the high-cost
treatment
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of hard
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disease
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diseases
show examples
and the unexpected natural incidents, from which
people
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can be sacrificed and where they are not responsible for their illnesses

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coherence cohesion
Clarify the connection between natural incidents and healthcare costs. This will strengthen the coherence of your arguments.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your point about high treatment costs.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each main idea is clearly linked to the thesis statement for greater clarity.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and well-structured, framing the discussion effectively.
task achievement
Relevant examples are provided, such as the flooding incident in Kazakhstan, to support your arguments.
task achievement
The essay maintains a consistent position throughout, effectively arguing against the statement.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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