We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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number
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the number
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of
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the number
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number of
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apply
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poor has increased sharply in the
world
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. Some people argue
that
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is not necessarily help
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does not necessarily help
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everybody in the
world
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. In
this
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, I am going to discuss
this
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issue.
Firstly
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, the migration rate in the
world
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has sharply increased. To explain, a population in apply poor community
migrate
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migrates
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to rich countries on the ground that researching to job chance which is improving lifestyle.
A
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As
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a result
that
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apply
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increasing competition
on
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in
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carees
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care
and overstress on the the facility .
For example
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, in India, the percentage of poverty people
was grew
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grew
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annually
a
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as
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a result of
apply
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applying
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a
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apply
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migration rate
apply rose
Verb problem
apply
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.
Thus
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, a
a
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apply
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donation has reduced
this
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phenomenon.
On the other hand
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,
becomed
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become
becomes
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a continuousproblem
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continuousproblem
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continuous problem
. To clarify, sometimes donation is not a a good method to treat
this
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problem, but assists to exist it
and
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apply
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widespread in the
world
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, Because
apply
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apply
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citizens in developing countries depend on
this
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help to keep their lives without seeking to improve their lifestyle like researching for
job
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the job
a job
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.
For instance
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, African countries have suffered
a
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poverty for many years
due to
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their dependence on help.
While
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aid usually has negative effects in poor places. In conclusion, I strongly believe
this
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issue has merits and demerits side. Lack of Migration is one of
advantages
Add an article
the advantages
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of helping,
while
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continuous growth issue is a disadvantage.

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task response
Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction. Your stance on whether to help everyone in the world vs focusing on local communities was not explicitly mentioned.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs with each paragraph focusing on one main idea. This will help improve the coherence and cohesion of your response.
task response
Make sure your main points are well supported with clear examples and explanations.
task response
The essay identifies and discusses some relevant issues related to migration and dependency on aid, which shows awareness of the complexities involved.
task response
The writer attempts to discuss both sides of the argument, which is a positive attempt to create a balanced essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global interconnectivity
  • international cooperation
  • ethics
  • moral obligation
  • geographical borders
  • diplomatic relations
  • economic stability
  • global security
  • resource allocation
  • expertise
  • international aid
  • dependency and development
  • sustainable solutions
  • local and global initiatives
  • community resilience
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