IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that governments should invest more money in public transportation systems, while others think funds should be spent on improving roads and highways. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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There are different views
according to
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 about investing much
money
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
puplic
Correct your spelling
public
 transportation or
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
allocat the funds to
devlope
Correct your spelling
develop
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
roads
Use synonyms
 and highways. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 the government should pay a lot of
money
Use synonyms
 to improve
system
Add an article
the system
show examples
 of the
street
Fix the agreement mistake
streets
show examples
 is better than
Correct article usage
the previuos
show examples
previuos
Correct your spelling
previous
 choice. on one hand, some individuals think that
pay
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
 a lot of cost for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public transportation is a perfect choice for the community. The main reason to support
this
Linking Words
 idea is,
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
 government will help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society to move easily by
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
car or
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bus on the road. particularly in rural cities. To illustrate,
this
Linking Words
 procedure will assist
people
Use synonyms
 to feel flexible and comfortable when they transform from one area to another
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
 morning
while
Linking Words
 they go to their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. So, the accidents will decrease
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
roads
Use synonyms
 by using good rules in
this
Linking Words
 case.
This
Linking Words
,payment
expensive
Change preposition
of expensive
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 to supply the road and highway is a suitable step
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
 activities.
on the other hand
Linking Words
, some beliefs related to
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 that investing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
funds
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 building new paths as
railway
Fix the agreement mistake
railways
show examples
 is
appropriate
Add an article
an appropriate
the appropriate
show examples
 choice
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the countries. The common
results
Fix the agreement mistake
result
show examples
 of that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is giving character of development for the population through establishing new
roads
Use synonyms
 in the country.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 suggestion will create happiness
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the individuals.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
construct
Wrong verb form
constructing
show examples
 new paths will link the cities to
another
Correct pronoun usage
one another
show examples
 by using
highest
Add an article
the highest
a highest
show examples
 technique on the street in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
daily life.
For example
Linking Words
,
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
 bridges and railways strategies currently. In conclusion, despite plenty of views regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
some
people
Use synonyms
 that paying
money
Use synonyms
 for the public transport or to
spent
Change the form of the verb
spend
show examples
 the cost on reforming the paths and new
roads
Use synonyms
 in the cities. I strongly agree that government should pay
amount
Add an article
the amount
an amount
show examples
 of
mouny
Correct your spelling
money
to
Correct article usage
a supple
show examples
supple
Correct your spelling
supply
show examples
transpotation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 system with
additional
Correct article usage
an additional
show examples
 updating
accessable
Correct your spelling
accessible
 approach
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 days.

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task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the topic, but the arguments lack depth and specific examples. Try to elaborate further with concrete examples and stronger arguments to fully develop your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Work on providing a clearer structure in your essay. Clearly separate your main points and make sure each paragraph has a main idea, supported by evidence. Use linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas.
general language
Focus on language accuracy, including spelling and grammar. While small mistakes can be overlooked, frequent errors can distract the reader and affect clarity. Practice makes perfect!
task achievement
You've made a good attempt at addressing both views and giving your own opinion, which is essential for this type of essay.
support highlights
Your intent to provide examples and specific points for each perspective is commendable; this can be built upon for greater impact.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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