Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Traffic
accidents
are now an important topic because of the rise in numbers and deaths. People have different opinion
about it. From my point of Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
view
it should be strict consequences for traffic incidents but it should Add a comma
view,
also
be a mix of both methods.
On one side, law
should be more strict to those who do illegal things Add an article
the law
in
the roads. Change preposition
on
This
,
is Remove the comma
apply
due to
that if people see that the consequences of his acts are biggers
, they will take more care of not Correct your spelling
bigger
commiting
those infractions. An example of Correct your spelling
committing
this
,
is Norway where the law about traffic is very severe. Remove the comma
apply
This
has Wrong verb form
produced
produce
in Replace the word
produced
Correct article usage
apply
the
recent years, a big Correct article usage
apply
Replace the word
reduction
reduce
Replace the word
reduction
Change preposition
in
of
the number of deaths and Change preposition
in
accidents
in the
Correct article usage
apply
european
Change the capitalization
European
country
. And that can be a model for other countries who can follow Fix the agreement mistake
countries
this
type of rules to resolve the problem.
On the other side, in other countries the are also
severe monetary and punishment consequences and the number of accidents
continues to rise. This
is why i
think there are Change the capitalization
I
others
methods to reduce Correct quantifier usage
other
this
and that are more flexible, like investment in education about the topic. For instance
, the ASR in France is a clear example. ASR is a
educational course Change the article
an
promote
by the France government to teach teenagers about Wrong verb form
promoted
cars
dangers and basic rules. Change the noun form
car
This
,
can make Remove the comma
apply
the
young people in Correct article usage
apply
a
future to Correct article usage
the
be already prepare
for the moment when they will drive
Change the verb form
be already prepared
To conclude
, strict punishments can be a good option to reduce the
Correct article usage
apply
accidents
on the roads but this
should be combined with other type
of methodsChange the wording
another type
other types
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Introduction & Conclusion
Consider refining your introduction and conclusion to make them more engaging and assertive. Your essay introduces the topic and presents your opinion, but it could benefit from a clearer thesis statement and a more impactful concluding sentence to reinforce your viewpoint.
Coherence
Enhance the coherence of your essay by improving transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Use transitional phrases to link your arguments more smoothly and clearly, ensuring a more cohesive reader experience.
Supporting Examples
To strengthen your essay, delve deeper when providing examples. Clearly explain how each example supports your argument, making a stronger connection between your reasoning and the evidence provided.
Task Response
Address both sides of the argument equally for a more balanced discussion. Ensure that each viewpoint is explored comprehensively, providing a fair comparison between the effectiveness of strict punishments versus other measures.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite