IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Recent research has shown that business meetings and trainings are increasingly taking place online. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this

#research #business #meetings #trainings #place
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modern era, meetings and
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
 are being conducted online by employers
due to
 several conveniences. There are both pros and cons to
this
 ongoing trend, but I would argue that the drawbacks exceed the benefits.
To begin
 with, the location barrier is not a problem anymore
as a result
 of cutting-edge technologies. Because of that, everyone can engage in any forum from anywhere and anytime without location difficulty or time zone differences.
Furthermore
, people can attend online meetings without having to commute.
While
 doing so, they save extra expenses and can allocate
this
 time to their personal development.
For instance
, big corporations
such
 as Google and Amazon carry out online conferences like those described above.
However
,
this
 shift is not devoid of challenges because there are numerous drawbacks to these online gatherings.
Firstly
, some difficulties might emerge
due to
 an unstable internet connection or a lack of computer literacy among staff.
As a result
, it can cause disruptions during the meeting and reduce the effectiveness of these online forums. Because of that, workers could not get a promotion from their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 owing to a deficiency of skills.
Secondly
, these online seminars minimize human interaction because employees almost never use verbal cues during these events.
Consequently
, it can pose misunderstandings or a lack of engagement in the long term.
For example
, online
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 really hard to join and verify the attendance of each person. In conclusion,
although
 online job opportunities are increasing day by day, I still believe that there are more drawbacks than benefits.
Submitted by ieltswritingband99 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay provides a fairly balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages of online meetings and training. However, to improve your score, make sure you offer more detailed examples and explanations for your points. This will show depth in your understanding and make your arguments more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
You have a good logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the coherence can be enhanced by making sure each paragraph flows more smoothly. Use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more clearly.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and concise, providing a good framework for your discussion.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have identified relevant advantages and disadvantages, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: