IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe it is a good idea to socialize with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Others think it is important to keep work life completely separate from social life. This essay will discuss both views and present my opinion.

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Socialization
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
impact
Add an article
an impact
the impact
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 daily
life
Use synonyms
. Some people argue that free time
it's
Verb problem
is
show examples
 perfect
to hang
Change preposition
for hanging
show examples
 out with
work
Use synonyms
 friends. I side with those who feel
Use synonyms
work
Correct article usage
the work
show examples
 world and daily
life
Use synonyms
 should be divided. Social bonding will offer some great benefits.
Firtsly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
,
orking
Correct your spelling
working
 with some groups available to create networking as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
friends
such
Linking Words
 as building
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
chemistry. In fact, having leisure time
beside
Replace the word
besides
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 day can help to develop
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communication among colleagues and
creating
Wrong verb form
create
show examples
 intimate
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
,
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
 will be created and
giving
Verb problem
have
show examples
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
work
Use synonyms
perfomance
Correct your spelling
performance
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
creativities and productivities can be invented by collaboration.
For instance
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good ideas can appear when someone
in
Add a missing verb
is in
show examples
Correct article usage
a relax
show examples
relax
Wrong verb form
relaxed
show examples
 situation without strain from
another circumstances
Replace the adjective
another circumstance
other circumstances
show examples
, at the start someone
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
fearing
Replace the word
fear
show examples
 to
give
Verb problem
apply
show examples
expression
Replace the word
expressing
show examples
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
oppinion
Correct your spelling
opinion
, meanwhile when they
in
Add a missing verb
are in
show examples
 one
conditions
Change to a singular noun
condition
show examples
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them to develop their bravery, and
as a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 they can give new
creativty
Correct your spelling
creativity
 for improve their
perfomence
Correct your spelling
performance
 in
work
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 story based on my
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, people should be caring about their healthy
life
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
work
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
 always
facing
Wrong verb form
faces
show examples
 a lot of pressure from various
factor
Change the noun form
factors
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
level
Correct article usage
the level
show examples
 of the hardest job,
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
show examples
 from the boss, and
Correct article usage
the enviroment
show examples
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 of
work
Use synonyms
, from
this
Linking Words
 point it can
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
serious
Correct article usage
a serious
show examples
 impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 one's resilience.
For instance
Linking Words
, when people
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 pressure from external factors it can disturb the focus of workers,
Linking Words
this
Correct word choice
and this
show examples
 problem will make
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
mental
Change the word
mentally
show examples
 unstable and more tired.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they
need
Add the particle
need to
show examples
 take
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rest for brain relaxation and
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
 more time to
suppressing
Change the verb form
suppress
show examples
 stability
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
oneself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
. In conclusion, social bonding is the perfect way to increase
perfomance
Correct your spelling
performance
work
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
open-minded
Add a missing verb
being open-minded
show examples
 with new creativities,
Correct word choice
and have
show examples
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 a different
persepctive
Correct your spelling
perspective
 to support
efficiency
Add an article
the efficiency
show examples
 of
work
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Improve the clarity of your arguments by clearly stating your main points and supporting them with examples.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your ideas flow logically from one to the next, using cohesive devices to connect sentences and paragraphs.
general
Check for grammatical accuracy and word choice to enhance the readability of your essay.
structure
You provide a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion, which is important for any essay.
content
You demonstrate a good understanding of the topic with relevant points on both socializing and maintaining a work-life balance.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • professional boundaries
  • team-building activities
  • mental health
  • cohesive work environment
  • personal development
  • workplace relationships
  • informal networking
  • job satisfaction
  • clear boundaries
  • personal well-being
  • common goals
  • burnout prevention
  • sense of belonging
  • achieving balance
  • privacy maintenance
  • career benefits
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