Schools should teach children the academic subjects which have a close relationship with their future careers, so other subjects like music and sports are not important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some suggest that schools should focus only on those
subjects
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which are directly related to helping them choose their profession in future rather than incorporating other
subjects
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like music and
sports
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in
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apply
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into the curriculum. In my opinion, I disagree with the given statement.
Firstly
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, all the
subjects
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have equal importance for
children
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's growth and behavioural well-being whether it is an academic subject or
extra curricular
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extracurricular
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activities.
Students
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have different tendencies of learning in every subject. Their interests
also
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vary from one another.
According to
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their interest, they focus on some
subjects
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more which they enjoy studying and some they just get passing grades to get promoted to the next class. School curriculum is the foundation of
children
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where they develop different types of talents, improve their skills and enhance their knowledge with the help of their teachers.
Furthermore
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,
subjects
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like music and
sports
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also
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contribute to the cognitive and physical growth of kids.
By incorporating
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Incorporating
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these
subjects
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into the syllabus,
it
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apply
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would relax their mind and shatter all the stress they have from studying difficult
subjects
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. There are few
students
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in every class who have good
vocal
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vocals
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and could become singers in future, so
subjects
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like these might help them to find their hidden talent. Professional teachers would
also
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encourage them to participate and choose it as their field of career as well.
Sports
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encourage
students
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to strengthen their physical abilities and there are many
students
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who become sportspersons because of their dedication and hard work one day.
For example
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, some
children
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come from poor backgrounds and do not have enough resources to practice their talent in singing. So, in schools, they can get these facilities
along with
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the
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apply
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academic studies.
To conclude
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, academic
subjects
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are very helpful to
become
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becoming
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successful in life
along with
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that
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apply
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extracurricular
subjects
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also
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contribute to the
overall
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growth of
children
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. In my opinion, schools are required to design their syllabus in a way that all important
subjects
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are well incorporated with other
subjects
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like music,
sports
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, stitching etc. in a well-mannered way so that
students
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feel relaxed
instead
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of feeling burdened.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates to your main argument.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or studies to support your arguments about the benefits of extracurricular subjects.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using linking words to enhance the flow between your ideas.
task achievement
You effectively argue that both academic and extracurricular subjects are important for children's development.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is structured well with a clear introduction and conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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