There are many types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

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Many

people

Use synonyms

, mostly the

old

Fix the agreement mistake

older

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generations, think that

music

Use synonyms

is not as important as education.

This

Linking Words

view is completely wrong, as

music

Use synonyms

is a linguistic art, which can express

people

Use synonyms

's feelings or opinions in enjoyable ways. Based on several research,

though

Correct your spelling

through

show examples

music

Use synonyms

our right-side brain is activated and

balancing

Wrong verb form

balances

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the brain work, considering that our daily routines tend to use

left-side

Add an article

the left-side

a left-side

show examples

brain.

Music

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

the best platform to spread your ideas throughout the world compared to others

such

Linking Words

novel

Fix the agreement mistake

novels

show examples

magazine

Fix the agreement mistake

magazines

show examples

, as the melody

lyric

Fix the agreement mistake

lyrics

show examples

distribute

Correct subject-verb agreement

distributes

show examples

the

massage

Correct your spelling

message

show examples

better

that

Correct word choice

than

show examples

non audio

Add a hyphen

non-audio

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media, which might bore some

people

Use synonyms

and somewhat could bring

Change preposition

apply

show examples

misleading

massage

Correct your spelling

messages

show examples

People

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nowadays

have

Verb problem

apply

show examples

already

understood

Wrong verb form

understand

show examples

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the advantages of

music

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to our mood.

This

Linking Words

undoubtedly makes

music

Use synonyms

player

Fix the agreement mistake

players

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become

Verb problem

apply

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one of the most downloaded applications in the world.

This

Linking Words

application introduces listeners to several kinds of

music

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from various genres and countries,

such

Linking Words

as pop, rock, jazz and even

kpop

Correct your spelling

K-pop

This

Linking Words

variety gives more options for

people

Use synonyms

to choose their favourite song.

This

Linking Words

is the reason why international

music

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is very popular nowadays.

However

Linking Words

, we should pay attention to traditional

music

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, as it is considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the identity of the country that

people

Use synonyms

should be kept. One of the ways is

introduce

Fix the infinitive

to introduce

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to every child about the traditional

music

Use synonyms

or make a performance competition in every school. In conclusion, I opine that

music

Use synonyms

has many advantages for us, particularly in the emotional aspects. It can

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

also

Linking Words

reflecting

Wrong verb form

reflect

show examples

the characters or identity of several countries in its own

uniqueness

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unique

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way.

aishantyatitaSun Feb 02 2025

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task achievement

Consider providing more detailed examples or personal anecdotes to strengthen your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and a logical flow to improve overall coherence.

coherence and cohesion

Use connecting phrases and transition words to enhance the flow between sentences and ideas.

task achievement

Your introduction clearly states your opinion on the importance of music.

task achievement

You showed a good understanding of the benefits of music and its cultural significance.

task achievement

The conclusion effectively summarizes your views on music and its value.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

257 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

emotional release
cultural significance
globalization
cultural exchange
technology
preservation
cultural heritage
social cohesion
expression
consumption
production
traditional music
international music
diversity
identity

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There are many types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Many university students nowadays live away from their home and their parents because of their university location, while others live with their families.

Some educationalists argue that non-exam, arts-based subjects, such as music, drama, art and craft, should be compulsory in the secondary curriculum. They believe that activities such as these can improve overall academic performance. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damage does plastic do to the environment? What can be done by governments and individuals to solve this problem?

In many countries today the retirement age from work has been raised. Do the advantages of raising the retirement age outweigh the disadvantages?