In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In some

tradition

Fix the agreement mistake

traditions

show examples

children

Use synonyms

always be encouraged

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they

must

Verb problem

apply

show examples

try hard so that they can achieve everything. Some people believe that

this

Linking Words

might increase

self confidence

Add a hyphen

self-confidence

show examples

and motivation,

while

Linking Words

others oppose that

this

Linking Words

might increase stress and

self doubt

Add a hyphen

self-doubt

show examples

when

children

Use synonyms

experience failure.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both views and conclude the statement. In terms of advantages,

this

Linking Words

quote "work hard, and get hard" might enhance the motivation of

children

Use synonyms

, and they might be more resilient when they attempt any difficult tasks in their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. Many people believe that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

self-motivation is the primary stage of success, and it can create

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

inner power,

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

can turn into effective

persuation

Correct your spelling

persuasion

Moreover

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

who achieve difficult

task

Fix the agreement mistake

tasks

show examples

will definitely obtain

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

self-confidence, and

this

Linking Words

lead to

Remove the article

apply

show examples

good

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

for them in

long-ter

Correct your spelling

long-term

such

Linking Words

as leadership

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

On the other hand

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

will put

such

Linking Words

a heavy pressure on

children

Use synonyms

, especially when they experience any failure, the first attitude that will occur is self-doubt. They might keep

Add an article

a question

the question

show examples

question

Wrong verb form

questioning

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

themselves

show examples

self

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

are they

try

Wrong verb form

trying

show examples

hard enough, and

this

Linking Words

perspective can

decay

Verb problem

affect

show examples

their mental health.

Therefore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

attitude can cause

Remove the article

apply

show examples

serious damage

for

Change preposition

show examples

childrenm

Correct your spelling

children

due to

Linking Words

their self-carrying

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, the atlethe that practice strictly with

training

Add an article

the training

a training

show examples

schedule

Fix the agreement mistake

schedules

show examples

and diet

plan

Fix the agreement mistake

plans

show examples

, and end up with failure on the

compete

Replace the word

competition

show examples

day, even

they

Correct word choice

if they

show examples

follow their plan thoroughly and it equals to the

hard-tried

Correct your spelling

hard

show examples

This

Linking Words

self-doutb

Correct your spelling

self-doubt

will ruin

everthing

Correct your spelling

everything

badly, because it might focus on

result

Correct article usage

the result

show examples

instead

Linking Words

process

Add an article

the process

a process

show examples

. In conclusion,

this

Linking Words

essay strongly believes that we should encourage

children

Use synonyms

to focus on personal progress

instead

Linking Words

teach

Change the verb form

teaching

show examples

them to try harder over their

limit

Fix the agreement mistake

limits

show examples

Thus

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

will lead

toself-doubt

Correct your spelling

to self-doubt

when they face

the

Correct article usage

show examples

problem, which is actually

over

Change preposition

beyond

show examples

their control.

Moreover

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

attitude will lead to fatigue from non-stop

persuation

Correct your spelling

persuasion

rutkittiphotSun Feb 02 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Consider providing a more balanced view by acknowledging specific examples for both advantages and disadvantages more clearly.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to use clearer transitions between sentences and paragraphs to improve the overall structure and flow of the essay.

coherence and cohesion

Check for grammatical accuracy, particularly in the use of verb forms and sentence structures, to enhance clarity in communication.

coherence and cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion that are relevant to the topic.

task achievement

Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, showcasing an awareness of different perspectives.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
44
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

achieve
try hard
positive mindset
self-belief
motivates
ambitious goals
resilience
determination
confidence
self-esteem
growth mindset
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
failure
effort
hard work
seek support
individual differences
abilities
capabilities

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Improving living conditions within society is a far superior approach to crime prevention than the threat of punishment. To what extent do you agree with this statement and why?
The debate about whether improving the life quality of people in society is a more effective approach to crime prevention than the threat of punishment is a prominent one. This essay will discuss both views and state my own opinion.
6
band
It seems that many companies today are becoming much more concerned with profit than with the happiness of workers. How could companies take better care of their workers in the future? Give reasons to your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
It seems to be the case that in many countries, companies are concentrating on profits and are neglecting the welfare of their staff. A range of examples will be presented to support this position and some possible improvements offered. This will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs.
6.5
band
governments in many countries are urgently seeking Ways to reduce unemployment in rural areas. what which are the most effective ways to do this? measure do you think would be the single mast effective step that governments could take? .!
In recent times, governments across the globe have been grappling with the pressing issue of unemployment in rural areas. The urgency to find effective solutions stems from the profound impact unemployment has on the economic and social fabric of these regions. While there are several measures that can be adopted, one significant step that governments could take is to invest in rural infrastructure development.
7
band
Very few schoolchildren learn about the value of money and how to look after it, yet this is a critical life skill that should be taught as part of the school curriculum. Do you agree or disagree?
Some people believe that very few schoolchildren know the value of money, and how to save it. However, others believe that this is an essential life skill, and should be taught as a part of school education. I personally agree with this statement because learning the value of money makes children practical, and they will carefully spend it.
8
band
A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a spurce of problems if it is not well-managed. what are the advantages and disadvantaged of tourism in the modern world?
These days, many economies around the world rely on the tourism industry. However, this reliance can have several negative effects if governments fail to manage it effectively. Despite the drawbacks of tourism, I believe that its benefits outweigh its disadvantages.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message.

Your opinion

Improving living conditions within society is a far superior approach to crime prevention than the threat of punishment. To what extent do you agree with this statement and why?

It seems that many companies today are becoming much more concerned with profit than with the happiness of workers. How could companies take better care of their workers in the future? Give reasons to your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

governments in many countries are urgently seeking Ways to reduce unemployment in rural areas. what which are the most effective ways to do this? measure do you think would be the single mast effective step that governments could take? .!

Very few schoolchildren learn about the value of money and how to look after it, yet this is a critical life skill that should be taught as part of the school curriculum. Do you agree or disagree?

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a spurce of problems if it is not well-managed. what are the advantages and disadvantaged of tourism in the modern world?