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Writing Samples
Band 7

Today, many people spend less and less time at their home. What’s the reason for it? What are the effects of this trend on individuals and society

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In recent times,the majority of individuals tend to spend almost all of their
life
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 outside and there are a great range of reasons that make
people
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 prefer social
life
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 rather than staying at houses .
This
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 has a positive impact on humans
as well as
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 the community. There are some reasons that make individuals choose to do social activities at home .
First,
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social media nowadays social platforms started to become an essential thing to
people
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's lives and it takes approximately all their time .
For example
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 ,
people
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 started to post and share their lives on social apps like Snapchat and
this
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 led to
people
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 wanting to do door activities just to take pictures and show others.
Moreover
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, creating memories many
people
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 think that the more you spend your time away from home the more memories you will create .To make it clear , going to a cafe with your loved one and having a cup of coffee will be a nice memory that you will never forget . Being an extrovert may affect
people
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's behaviour in a good way and change
society
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 significantly .Spending your day away from your house will make you an expert and figure out things simply .
For instance
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 ,being outside and having some social
life
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 will make the person more expert when it comes to communicating and dealing with others
this
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 is because the more you get in trouble with
people
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 the more mature you will get .
Furthermore
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 ,it will impact
society
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 in an amazing way
due to
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 the fact that
society
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 will be close to each other and have a strong tie .
For example
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 , if individuals select to spend their with other humans
this
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 will lead to more communication between the
society
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 which will make the culture flexible. In conclusion ,everything in
this
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life
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 has reason to happen and affect
people
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 and the community so wasting your hour outdoors may impact human lifestyles in good ways and
also
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 make the community achievable .

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coherence and cohesion
Work on providing clearer topic sentences and transitions between paragraphs to enhance logical flow throughout your essay. This will help your reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Ensure that you clearly explain all your main ideas and make them more comprehensive. Try to elaborate more on how your points relate to the main question.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to back up your claims. This will make your arguments more convincing and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and discusses both reasons and effects of the trend, demonstrating an understanding of the task.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, framing your essay well and summarizing your main points effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • extended working hours
  • remote working
  • urbanization
  • economic pressures
  • digital nomad
  • social activities
  • technological advancements
  • commutes
  • recreational activities
  • engagement
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