IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Health care should not be provided for free regardless of a person’s income. The health of citizens is in their own hands and they should, therefore, be held accountable for that. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Free
health
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 care is always been a topic on which people have distinct views. Some believe that it should not be free at all for anyone, as it’s ultimately the individual’s responsibility to maintain their
health
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.
However
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, I oppose that viewpoint and believe in free-of-charge medical care. My stand is
further
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 explained with relevant examples. Several benefits of no-cost healthcare can be put forth to illustrate how our society can benefit from it. The primary reason is that it provides equal access to everyone regardless of their socio-economic status. Having
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 income should not have any benefits when it comes to
health
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 as everyone deserves to be equally treated in our society and
also
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 it’s inhumane to prioritize wealth over
health
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.
For example
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, a person who is on the list of top earners in the country should not leverage that to get special treatment
while
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 accessing
health
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 services.
Additionally
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, humans cannot have perfect
health
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 conditions throughout their lives.
Due to
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 the fact that there will be always possibilities for unforeseen circumstances which are impossible to be prepared for, like accidents, a sudden breakout of disease
as well as
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 genetic disorders. The recent global breakout of the COVID-19 virus led to the deaths of more than ten million people.
However
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, more than 100 million people who got infected with the virus were saved
due to
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 access to free treatments and medications.
To conclude
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, free-of-charge medical services are imperative in our society as humanity is beyond wealth, and
also
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 it is crucial when times are tough and saving human beings is vital, which is the aim of
health
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 care.

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task achievement
Ensure to elaborate more on your main points to create a clearer and more comprehensive argument. This will improve the clarity of your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Consider revising the flow between your paragraphs to enhance coherence and reinforce the connections between your ideas.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents your position and sets the stage for your argument. This effectively engages the reader and outlines your stance.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, particularly in discussing the impact of free healthcare during the COVID-19 pandemic.
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