Some people think it is more important to provide parks and sports facilities than to provide shopping centers in these new town for people to spend their free time. To what extent doo you agree or disagree?

#people #parks #sports #facilities #centers #town #time #doo

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Part of society agrees that more attention should be given to the construction of

parks

and

sports

amenities, rather than spending huge capital on shopping centres for the public to pass their spare time. I wholeheartedly believe that

parks

and

sports

grounds require more focus because they help people

in maintaining

Change preposition

maintain

show examples

a healthy lifestyle and they can

also

assist in maintaining a healthy environment. The prominent reason behind supporting the first testimonial is that humans can maintain

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

excellent physical and mental health by going to

parks

and

sports

stadiums because these outdoor grounds help them to inhale fresh air to refresh their minds

along with

this

, youngsters can exercise and perform yoga that will help them to gain physical fitness. If people go to the shopping centres in their leisure time, neither it can help them to get physically fit nor they can find mental peace at these places.

For example

, as per the sample survey conducted in 2020, approximately the rate of obesity declined by 35%

due to

the construction of more

sports

clubs in Chandigarh in comparison to the repercussions of the 2015 obesity rate. Another pivotal extrapolation to support the statement is that

parks

and grounds help

in creating

Wrong verb form

create

show examples

a clean and green environment for society. If more preference is given to building

sports

areas

then

more and more plants can be planted that will help the executives to cope with the issue of pollution as well.

For instance

, in 2019, a plan was prepared to construct Oemax mall in Patiala, but as soon as the rate of pollution was calculated in the city, the government of India

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

amended the plan and decided to make a park at

this

same location named as rose garden.

This

action was taken to promote a healthy lifestyle and reduce pollution.

To conclude

, constructing

parks

and

sports

amenities is a better choice for maintaining good health and

this

choice is

also

better because

parks

are environmentally friendly.

Hence

, I totally agree with the first notion.

Submitted by ss6802125 on Mon Feb 26 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider varying your connecting phrases more to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs. Additionally, transitioning smoothly between paragraphs can also strengthen the logical progression of your arguments.

Task Achievement

To improve task achievement, ensure that you fully address the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument, even if you decide to strongly agree or disagree. This shows a well-rounded understanding of the topic. Moreover, include more varied and detailed examples to support your points effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

335 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
A great deal of languages have been demonished in recent years and according to some it will inevitably result in convenience across the globe. In my perspective it can be considered as a possitive devolopment ,therefore I completely agree with the statement. Following essay will discuss this notion.
5.5
band
In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?
These days, the figure of athletes is increasing and all of them like to win the events, which is the number of people who play professional sports that are using banned substances to improve their performance. In this essay, we will discuss the main reasons that athletes have been using these kinds of materials and propose some possible solutions to avoid them.
6
band
At present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
The proportion of youth, adults, and senior citizens in the population varies. In some countries, the younger generation outnumbers the elderly population. Although, this situation may lead high unemployment rate, it allows countries to adapt to the new World and create a highly efficient workforce and I believe this benefit outweighs any potential drawback.
6.5
band
In many countries goverments are investing in new technology to deal with public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of goverment money?
Governments in many countries are spending money on modern technology to deal with the citizens.The origin of this trend comes from increasing social issues.Additionally,this amount of investment seems worthy because it also brings benefits to society.
8
band
There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent decades, the field of education has turned into an area of immense pressure. Consequently, many think that non-academic subjects should be eliminated from the school curriculum so that students can be more focused on academics. In my opinion, even though academic training is important, extracurricular activities also play a crucial role in the development of a child and hence should be added to the school syllabus.

Some people think it is more important to provide parks and sports facilities than to provide shopping centers in these new town for people to spend their free time. To what extent doo you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?

At present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries goverments are investing in new technology to deal with public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of goverment money?