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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities. Assel.

The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities. Assel.
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The map depicts an
island
Use synonyms
, previously and
afterward
Change the spelling
afterwards
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 the development of some tourist facilities.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 significant changes were made to the
island
Use synonyms
. Several new structures were introduced, dramatically transforming the
island
Use synonyms
’s landscape. The transformation involves a shift from a natural landscape to a developed
area
Use synonyms
 for tourism development. There was nothing on the
island
Use synonyms
 except palm trees.
However
Linking Words
, accommodations were constructed to host visitors.
Additionally
Linking Words
, a reception
area
Use synonyms
 was built
to
Change preposition
apply
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in the centre of the
island
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 to welcome and register tourists. Several facilities have been constructed on the
island
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, including a restaurant,
pier
Correct article usage
a pier
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 for boating and a designated swimming
area
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, roads have been constructed for tourists to visit
facilities
Correct article usage
the facilities
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 of the
island
Use synonyms
.
And they
Correct word choice
They
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 can readily find their way to a reception centre, residences, restaurant, swimming beach and a pier providing access for boats.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
island
Use synonyms
 underwent a significant transformation. In conclusion, the
area
Use synonyms
 has changed significantly from a natural state to a developed tourist destination.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words island, area with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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