IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many
people
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 contemplate that the achievement of a
person
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 is predominantly based on luck rather than his or her own hard work. In my opinion, I completely disagree with
this
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 view.
Firstly
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, I believe that determination and
hard-working
Correct word choice
hard work
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 are the key ingredients contributing to the success of
people
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. They keep
people
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 moving forward despite
of
Change preposition
apply
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obstacles or hardships.
For example
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, the story of Nick Vujicic is a convincing case of how a determined and industrious
person
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attain
Change the verb form
attains
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 his goal. He is a motivational speaker, who unfortunately suffers from a rare disorder leading to the lack of four limbs.
Although
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 he does not have any legs or hands, he earns a
bachelor
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bachelor's
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 degree in accountancy and finance with his endless efforts.
Furthermore
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, practice makes perfect. The more time
people
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 spend on improving themselves, the higher the opportunities for
the
Correct your spelling
them
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 to achieve triumph.
Secondly
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, luck is just a modest component in determining one’s accomplishment. Without the knowledge, experience or skills needed,
people
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 cannot pass an exam or a competition solely depending on fortune.
Moreover
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, luck is just temporary and happens rarely.
For instance
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, a
person
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 can win a lottery once but it hardly happens for a second time. A student may luckily choose easy questions for once but nothing can be assured for the next examination. In conclusion, for the reason I have mentioned above, I strongly believe that in order to gain objectives in life, a
person
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need
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needs
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 to be determined and hard-working to pursue his or her goal till the end.

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grammar
Ensure consistent subject-verb agreement and use of articles to enhance grammatical precision.
development
Expand upon your examples to deepen the analysis and illustrate your points more fully.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing your stance effectively.
content
You provide good examples that support your main points, making your argument relatable and effective.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • diligence
  • consistent effort
  • inherent talent
  • honing skills
  • external factors
  • upbringing
  • social connections
  • economic background
  • right place at the right time
  • contributing factor
  • conjunction
  • success
  • achievements
  • endeavors
  • fortune
  • serendipity
  • determinants
  • efficacy
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