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Band 6.5

Some people say that no one should do the same job forever, While others belelive that doing the same job is beneficial for the individual, company and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #job #belelive #company #society
Over the recent decades, jobs have become an integral part of
people
’s lives. It is often said that nobody should do the same
job
 for a lifetime
however
, others feel that staying at the same work is more advantageous for everything. In
this
 essay, I will examine both sides of the argument and provide my
overall
 opinion. Generally speaking, there are a number of reasons why
people
 believe that doing the same
job
 for a lifetime is not a good thing. The main reason behind
this
 statement is that
people
 get frustrated by doing the same thing for a long
time
.
For example
, recently an article published at Prothom
also
 mentioned that 65
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
Change preposition
of
show examples
long-
time
job
 holders take anti-depression medication. So there is a high chance get depressed by doing the same
job
 for a lifetime
time
. Despite these arguments, many
people
 feel that doing the
job
 in the same place is more advantageous for a number of reasons. Perhaps the main reason why
people
 are in favour of
this
 case is one cause is there are more possibilities to get a promotion easily. If anyone stays for a long
time
 in a sector he or she can easily get the proper knowledge about the sector.
On the other hand
, Staying in one
job
 is beneficial for the company
also
. New employee needs training if they already have workers they don’t need training by doing
this
 thing they can easily save money and
time
. In conclusion, it must be said that
this
 topic has become a complex issue for me. My personal view is that everybody should change the
job
 after a long
time
 it will be best.
Submitted by belmontsy01 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses both views of the argument as requested by the prompt. However, the conclusion is somewhat underdeveloped. It would be beneficial to summarize the main points and offer a more detailed final opinion that ties back into your arguments.
coherence cohesion
While your essay’s structure is mostly coherent, try to enhance the flow between paragraphs. This can be achieved by using clearer topic sentences and transitional phrases to guide the reader through your points.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets the context for the discussion and clearly states that you will examine both sides of the argument.
relevant specific examples
You have included relevant examples, like the Prothom article, which help support your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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