You recently bought a piece of equipement for your kitchen but it did not work. You phoned the shop but no action was taken Write a letter to the shop manager. In your letter Describe the problem with the equipment explain what happened when you phoned the shop say what you would like the manager to do
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing
this
letter to complain that I got unsatisfactory with your shop's product and service in the recent.
Before I explain about unhappy situation, I can give some details information about the problem with the microwave. I bought it from your shop on 21st January. After 5 days I bought it, I just turned on the microwave to warm my food and it was not working and after 10 minutes it was working. I had this
issue 5 times and it is unsatisfactory.
To solve this
trouble, I called your store yesterday. When I called, I expressed this
happened to one of the staff "Jenny", but she keep said to me she did not know how can deal with this
problem. She did not try to address this
situation. I was uncomfortable and she was not friendly too.
I highly want to fix or replace this
equipment. This
is because I always cook my food by microwave before I go out and this
is the only one that I have. If you don't mind, would you fix this
one at your outlet? I can go there after I finish the work. Plus, I think that you should educate your employees on how can explain to customers about all kinds of machines. That will be helpful to customers and your business.
please let me know if you need more information about it. I am looking forward to hearing good news from you.
Thank you.
Yours sincerely,
Hwiju Jin.Submitted by gnlwnww on
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Task Response
To improve task response, ensure that your letter addresses all aspects of the task with sufficient detail. While you have mentioned the problem, your interaction with the staff, and what you would like the manager to do, expanding on each point with more specifics can make your request stronger. For instance, detailing the inconvenience caused by the faulty microwave would emphasize the urgency of your request.
Coherence and Cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, work on the flow of ideas between paragraphs. Transitions between them can be smoother to guide the reader through your letter effortlessly. Adding phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'In addition to the above,' or 'Consequently,' at the beginning of paragraphs could enhance the connectivity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Double-check your letter for minor grammatical errors and improve the accuracy of language use. Phrases like 'I got unsatisfactory with your shop's product and service in the recent' could be revised for clarity to 'I am dissatisfied with the product and service I recently received from your shop.' Correct and clear language contributes significantly to the coherence of your message.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite