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Band 7

Many governments in the world spend large amounts of money on art, which helps to improve the quality of peoples lives. However, governments should spend money on other things rather than art. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

#governments #world #amounts #money #art #quality #peoples #lives
The debate over government spending on
art
 versus other priorities is a complex issue.
While
art
 undeniably enhances cultural identity and improves the
quality
 of life, I believe that government funds should focus more on essential
services
such
 as
healthcare
,
education
, and
infrastructure
, which have a more immediate and direct impact on citizens’ well-being.
Firstly
,
healthcare
 and
education
 are fundamental needs that influence individuals’
quality
 of life and economic prospects. By investing in
quality
healthcare
, governments can ensure a healthier population, reduce the burden of illness, and lower long-term
healthcare
 costs.
Similarly
, funding
education
 not only empowers people with knowledge and skills but
also
 drives economic development and reduces poverty in the long run. These
services
 create a more robust, educated, and productive society, which directly impacts people’s daily lives.
Moreover
, investing in
infrastructure
such
 as roads, public transportation, and clean water systems benefits society by enhancing safety and convenience. Well-maintained
infrastructure
 contributes to economic growth by facilitating trade and providing safe, reliable means of transport. Without these basic necessities, the
quality
 of life diminishes, making investments in
art
 seem less relevant to people’s everyday challenges.
While
art
 has intrinsic value, contributing to cultural enrichment and personal enjoyment,
however
, I opine it should not be prioritized over essential
services
.
Instead
, governments could encourage private sector funding for the arts, allowing more resources to be dedicated to critical areas like
healthcare
,
education
, and
infrastructure
. In conclusion,
while
art
 is valuable, prioritizing essential
services
 ensures a solid foundation for societal development, I strongly believe
that
Change preposition
in
show examples
 creating a stable environment where people can appreciate cultural pursuits more meaningfully.
Submitted by thesisabri on

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task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the task by presenting a clear position on the issue. To enhance completeness, consider providing more specific examples for each supporting point.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical and the progression of ideas is clear. Connecting sentences between paragraphs could be improved for smoother transitions.
task achievement
The essay provides a well-balanced argument, acknowledging both the value of art and the necessity of essential services.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph supports the main thesis, contributing to a coherent structure.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets up the essay effectively, and the conclusion ties the arguments together, reaffirming the writer's stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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