being a celebrity - such as a famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits. do you think that being a celebrity has more benefits or more problems?

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Becoming a successful public figure like a famous actor or professional sportsman can reward
this
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person,
along with
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bringing problems. I think the drawbacks outweigh all the benefits. One major advantage of being famous is financial independence. Celebrities often conclude a contract with international companies and earn money that ordinary workers haven't seen in life.
for example
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, all professional racers wear forms with the logo of well-known brands
such
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as Red Bull and receive tens of millions of dollars.
This
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type of affluence exists
due to
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the fact that celebrities are often seen as role models, and so people want to try products that they advertise.
however
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, being famous has its own drawbacks.
Firstly
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, popular personalities can not live like an ordinary person. A regular trip to the store or bar turns into a fan meeting, when fans circle around the artist, ask for a photo or autograph and do not let them leave.
Due to
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these accidents, celebs are forced to hide themselves,
for instance
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, wearing hoods, sunglasses and a mask in order to go shopping.
Additionally
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, luminary spends time in expensive restaurants or bars with the aim of avoiding fans,
as a result
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, they spend extremely big amounts of money.
Therefore
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an artist even with a large amount of money and recognition, has to hide and dodge random encounters. in conclusion,
while
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being famous brings financial benefits, drawbacks that come with it are critical. those who are able to overcome all obstacles linked to fame can
finally
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acquire its prize.

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task achievement
Ensure each paragraph clearly links to the thesis statement. The introduction could more explicitly state the reasons why you think drawbacks outweigh benefits.
coherence and cohesion
Work on using a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'Moreover', 'On the other hand') to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide a more balanced view by discussing some benefits in more detail, as this would enhance your essay's depth.
task achievement
The essay has a clear position that is maintained throughout, making it easy to follow your line of thought.
task achievement
The examples used are relevant and illustrate your points well, such as the mention of professional racers' earnings.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Public scrutiny
  • Intrusive
  • Endorsements
  • Sponsorships
  • Financial security
  • High-profile collaborations
  • Social influence
  • Philanthropic efforts
  • Trust issues
  • Mental health challenges
  • Substance abuse
  • Pressures of celebrity
  • Expectations
  • Disconnect from reality
  • Normalcy
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