Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It can be argued that competition
stimulate
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stimulates
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productive
bahavior
Correct your spelling
behaviour
, some people believe that it can
be
Verb problem
have
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a positive effect
in
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on
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our daily
life
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lives
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,
while
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others oppose that we should
working
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work
be working
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as a team
instead
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of competing.
This
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essay will discuss both
view
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views
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and
concludes
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conclude
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personal opinion. On
one
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the one
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hand, people suppose that competition may lead to personal improvement, and it may provide many positive aspects to our world, like students that have brilliant performance which can be good quality workforces for many organisations in
workforce
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the workforce
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market.
For instance
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, many students in high school in China tend to work hard
for
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to
show examples
attaining
Verb problem
attend
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high-ranked universities and
this
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lead
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leads
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to
the
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apply
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good educational
result
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results
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for
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apply
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themselves
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apply
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.
Thus
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, many students in
this
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intense competition are facing
with
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apply
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critical mental issues
due to
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their failure
of
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in
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outcome
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outcomes
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and the high
expectation
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expectations
show examples
from their parents.
On the other hand
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, many
imcredible
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incredible
tasks can be
acheived
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achieved
by working as a strong team, and
this
Linking Words
lead to
cooperative
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a cooperative
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environment,
which
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in which
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many individuals
are helping
Wrong verb form
help
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each other
due to
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their same goal. To illustrate, brainstorming, is the best process to generate a new idea.
For instance
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, in terms of establishing a new business
campaign
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campaign,
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we must cooperate between many departments to analyse all of
useful
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the useful
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information from different sources and
gatering
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gather
ideas from different angles.
Moreover
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, we can mirror
this
Linking Words
mindset with the high-tall building, by considering
about
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apply
show examples
how
this
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kind of building
are
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is
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built. It is the strong cooperation between architectures that design the appearance, civil engineers that evaluate
the
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a
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total load of construction,
mechanical
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and mechanical
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and
elictrical
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electrical
engineer
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engineers
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that design inside facilities.
This
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is
the
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a
show examples
prominent example of cooperative work. In
concludion
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conclusion
,
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while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
many individuals believe that
competion
Correct your spelling
competition
can
provide
Verb problem
have
show examples
a good effect in
workplace
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the workplace
show examples
, school, or even in daily life. I strongly
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
that cooperation is the
more
Rephrase
most
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effective approach, working as a strong team to combine people's personal
strength
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strengths
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can lead to positive
aspect
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aspects
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, because many good ideas,
sometime
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sometimes
show examples
, can
be generate
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be generated
show examples
from
the
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apply
show examples
different angles.

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grammar
Ensure that sentences are complete and grammatically correct. Pay attention to verb forms and subject-verb agreement to improve clarity.
task response
Make sure to clearly express your opinion in the introduction and conclusion. Your stance should be evident throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to improve cohesion between sentences and paragraphs. This will help your essay flow better.
task response
You present both sides of the argument, demonstrating your understanding of different viewpoints.
task response
Your examples are relevant and illustrate your points well, adding depth to your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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