IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many workplaces, online communication is now more common than face-to-face meetings. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, more companies prefer to use an
Internet
Use synonyms
 connection rather than live gatherings.
This
Linking Words
 essay primarily suggests that communication from different locations saves time, and functional options
such
Linking Words
 as screen sharing and the rapid transportation of essential files are the biggest advantages, outweighing cybersecurity risks as the main drawback. The main reason for using cyberspace during meetings is convenience among workers as today huge companies have small offices in various locations, even in different geographic areas. So, employees are encouraged to organize online meetings
instead
Linking Words
 of face-to-face communication that can be planned for a long time for people from other regions.
For example
Linking Words
, the bank, where I am working now, allows gatherings only using the
Internet
Use synonyms
, preferring a quick operativity.
In addition
Linking Words
, via the
Internet
Use synonyms
 individuals can show their screen on a desktop computer and transfer necessary documents through a chat, avoiding the traditional approach, where a speaker should take documents and physical equipment,
such
Linking Words
 as a laptop and microphone, and check to workability that need more cycled actions.
Such
Linking Words
 possibilities are offered by certified companies
such
Linking Words
 as Google and Microsoft with their services, which are named Google Meetings and Teams, respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the viable disadvantage is safety problems on the
Internet
Use synonyms
 owing to the fact that people named “black hackers” can get unauthenticated access to files, containing sensitive data. A malefactor can use it for his own goals which can lead to reputation risks for a company.
Also
Linking Words
, the consequences might involve common individuals, who leave their private information that can serve as a help for robbery.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the fact that opting
Internet
Use synonyms
 as a type of communication leads to effective time management and multifunctionality outweighs the flawed argument about illegal access in corporations.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

conclusion
Incorporate a stronger conclusion that summarizes the main points more effectively and emphasizes the overall argument more clearly.
cohesion
Ensure a clearer transition between ideas to strengthen logical flow. Consider using linking phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs better.
example
The essay presents relevant examples that support the main argument effectively, showcasing personal experience in a workplace context.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: